Mama's Family Season 5 Episode 21

Mama: I didn't get a wink of sleep. I was up all night worrying.
Bubba: About your tax audit?
Mama: No Bubba, I was worried Rosanne Barr might sit on one of her kids.

Bubba: While you were gone, you got a call from the IRS.
Mama: What?
Vint: Oh boy. Maybe they're gonna deliver a package.
Mama: That's UPS, ya dipstick!

Iola: Oh now Thelma, ya must admit it's a thrill to get that big green check. When ours came, Mother got so excited she walked around the bedroom. Twice.

Vint: You were the only one in our pew who didn't get up and do the wave.

Bubba: All you have to do is charm him. Just be the sweet kind little old lady.
Vint: Yeah Mama – lie to him.

*Mama asks what Bettie Ann did for her tax audit*
Naomi: Okay! Well, she put on a low cut blouse, and her micro mini, and her spikiest heels. Well when that IRS agent took one look at her, the only numbers on his mind were 38-24-36.
Mama: Y'all think that would work for 44-36-48?
Iola: Why don't ya bake him something?
Mama: I'm doomed!

Mama: Well call me old fashioned, but I don't think it's appropriate right before Communion to hear Duh duh duh da da. And then the whole Congregation yells "CHARGE!"

Iola: Income tax evasion is a serious offense.
Bubba: Yeah, Al Capone was convicted of that.
Mama: Oh my Lord!
Vint: I can't believe it. My mama and Al Capone could go up the river for the same crime.
Mama: Well Vinton do me a favor. On visiting days, stay home!