Mama has been living with Naomi for three years, and has been knowing her for even longer. Why didn't she recognize her voice straight off?
Eddie Edwards would return for one more go three episodes later, hosting the beauty pageant in "Grandma USA."
Mama: HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?! HAVE YOU NO BRAIN IN THAT FRIZZPOT HEAD OF YOUR'S?
Naomi: That is more than one question.
Mama: How could you pull a stunt like this! Gettin' on TV and talkin' about stuff that would make Phil Donahue blush.
Naomi: I guess you heard.
Mama: THE WHOLE TOWN HEARD! MY PHONE HAS BEEN RINGIN' OFF THE WALL! I GOT A CALL FROM A WOMAN LIVIN' DOWN THE STREET I THOUGHT DIED YEARS AGO!
*Mama is paging through Dr. Joyce's book*
Mama: "The Huliliating Seven Second Encounter. Sounds like my honeymoon. The Older Woman and the Younger Man?! Good Lord. Taking The Ho Hum Out Of Sex. Well, just a minute Joycie. I don't mind losin' the ho, but the hum was the only part I could stand!"
Dr. Brothers: "If you don't use it, you lose it."
Mama: "There ya go again, blamin' it on the mother! She put em on the pot too soon! She took em off the pot to early! Three hundred and sixty four days out of the year ya blame her for everything that's wrong in the world!"
Vint: "Now we didn't say that . . ."
Mama: "And on Mother's Day outta guilt, ya slap a corsage on her chest and let her order anything she wants at the House of Pancakes!"
Dr. Brothers: "Do you experience stress on the job?"
Vint: "No, not at all. I just worry all the time about gettin' fired."
Dr. Brothers: "And Vint, you must remember that pratically every man at some point in his life has a problem performing."
Mama: "You know Joyce, you are so right. This exact same thing happened to my husband Carl. Course, I considered it a blessing."
Dr. Brothers: "Well, tell me, how long have you been experiencing this problem?"
Naomi: "Every night for two weeks."
Mama: "Two weeks! Is that all?! That ain't being out of commission, that's being married!"
*Mama is looking for a place to sit, and sees a old man in a chair near where Naomi, Vint, and Dr. Brothers are seated*
Mama: "Beat it, this is a medical emergency!"
Mama: "Now I want you to sit him down! And straighten him out!"
Mama: "I am callin K-RAY!" This station has got to know how to get in touch with Dr. Brothers. She can't go pointing her finger at me and then skip town! She doesn't even know me! After I'm through with her she's gonna rue the day we ever met!"
*in a sweet tone*
Mama: "Hello? I'm trying to reach Dr. Joyce Brothers. This is the president of her fan club."
Iola: "I guess I'd better be going."
Mama: "Good idea. Thanks for the pie."
*Vint gets up along with Iola*
Iola: "Pleasure. You don't hafta get up fer me."
Iola looks stunned as she realizes what she said*
Mama: "Good night Iola!"
Iola: "I mean, I'm sure that you could if you wanted to. Up, down. Makes no difference to me."
Mama: "See I told ya dinner would cheer us up."
Mama: "Well, who is it?!"
Bubba: "It's a bunch of guys laughing and singing I Can't Get No Satisfaction."
Mama: "No I don't know what you're talkin' about. No, I never watch that Eddie Edwards. You don't say? Well, it must have been somebody else. I'm tellin' ya it was a mistake! I heard that woman say "Clint" with my own ears!"
Bubba: "Who was that?"
Mama: "Wrong number!"
Eddie: "Tell us Dr. Brothers, what brings you to our fair city?"
Dr. Brothers: "My plane broke down."
Mama: "Besides, today's the day where he does his library report where he reads all the people with overdue books."
Iola: "Oh, I didn't know that he did in depth stories."
Mama: "Good Lord! Teenage Vixens. Conglomerate takeovers. Crumbling mariages. This could be an episode of Dynasty."
Mama: "I'd be happy to help you out."
Bubba: "No thanks Grandma. Every time you start giving me advice, you always end up yelling."
Mama: "I do no such thing! Now, what's the problem?"
Bubba: "Well, there's this girl in my home room, Andrea. She works down at the Donut Hut. I want her to ask me to the Twirp Dance."
Mama: "What the hell is a Twirp Dance?!"
Bubba: "Well, it's a dance at school where the girls ask the boys out."
Mama: "I'mma tell you something, these women libbers have gone nuts. A man is not supposed to sit home on Friday night to wait from the phone to ring. That's a woman's job."
Bubba: "I know that Grandma, but . . ."
Mama: And just what self-respecting girl would go chasing after a boy anyway?! I don't want you going out with this pushy little twirp."
Bubba: "Thanks for the advice Grandma."
Mama: "Any time baby."