Mama's Family

Season 5 Episode 25

Mama Makes Three

0
Aired Unknown May 27, 1989 on NBC

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (The family is discussing Vint and Naomi getting to adopt a baby)
      Mama: Bubba, if the Harper family did not pass with flying colors, I will dance naked with the mailman.
      Iola: (enters) Knock, knock.
      Mama: Oh, come in hon, you're just in time for lunch.
      Iola: Well, I don't know if I should stay, under the circumstances.
      Vint: What circumstances?
      Iola: Well, I just got off the phone with Vernilia. She thought it best if I tell you. The adoption agency turned ya down.
      Vint: Oh, no!
      Mama: Well, I am in a state of shock.
      Bubba: Just think how the mailman's gonna feel.

    • Vint: I am out of here. At last, I'm free. As free as the wind blows. As free as the grass grows. Free to follow my heart. (pauses) Born free. . .
      Mama: Oh, shut up!

    • Vint: You told me you'd keep it till I was mature enough!
      Mama: Hell Vinton, those chemicals have only got a fifty year shelf life.

    • Naomi: You see, they were afraid that we wouldn't have enough time for our baby, on account of us both being so career oriented like we are.
      Mama: Well what turned them around? Finding out ya got dead-end jobs?

    • Naomi: The doctor says my poor baby's been shooting blanks.
      Mama: Oh my Lord. I was afraid something like this would happen ever since you had that horrible dodge ball accident in the fourth grade.

    • (Vint is worried about Naomi)
      Vint: Oh Mama, what if she never comes back?
      Mama: Did she take her hot rollers or her make-up?
      Vint: No.
      Mama: She'll be back.

    • (Mama is drinking a beer as Vinton enters)
      Vint: Isn't it a little early for that?
      Mama: It's eight PM in Munich. Gesundheit!

    • (Mama is talking about her mother)
      Mama: That old dragon made my life a living hell! But I gave her respect! "Honor thy Father and thy Mother." That is what the Good Book says, and that is what I did! I honored that prune-faced old harp until she drew her last breath! And what did it get me?! Nothing but heartache and criticism and backtalk! What, oh what did I ever do to deserve such ungrateful brats?! Tell me! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!

    • Naomi: Come to think of it, I think I was pretty hungry for affection as a child.
      Mama: Becoming an adult did nothing to curve her appetite.

    • (Vint and Naomi are discussing adopting a baby)
      Vint: It wouldn't be blood. I mean, the kid would have absolutely nothing to do with our two gene pools.
      Mama: Well, this idea's soundin' better and better.

    • Mama: Vinton has been eatin' my food his entire life, and I have never heard of him complain about being barren till he took up with you!
      Vint: Could we talk about something else?!
      Naomi: Just what is that supposed to mean?!
      Mama: It means you wore him out! You can only turn a battery on so many times before it runs outta juice!

    • Bubba: What are you doing? Having lunch?
      Mama: No Bubba, we're grooving to Oscar Meyer's latest compact disk.
      (Bubba listens around the room)

    • Vint: We're not gonna get our baby. Dr. Richards said we couldn't.
      Naomi: Well honey, I just got a second opinion, and my obstetrician says we are.
      Vint: What's your eye doctor got to do with it?

    • (Vint is talking about his chemistry set)
      Vint: I had it figured out the minute I opened the box, but she ripped it right out of my hands!
      Mama: He was burning down the front porch.
      Vint: It was an experiment!
      Mama: It was arson!

    • Dr. Richards: So, Mr. Harper, tell me about your childhood?
      Vint: Well, I guess it was okay. I... (Mama takes a rolled up magazine and slaps her palm with it) Perfect! My childhood was perfect.

  • Notes

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