Mama: Do you realize that because of you I've never even worn a pair of slacks?
Grandma Crowley's Ghost: Nobody wants to look at the caboose in pants.
Mama: You made me afraid to try anything. I was 63 when I learned to drive.
Grandma Crowley's Ghost: Don't tell me your driving!
Mama: Thanks to you Mother, I've always been ashamed to show affection. I never let Carl anywhere near me unless the lights were out.
Grandma Crowley's Ghost: Well, if you're gonna talk dirty, I'm leaving.