Mama's Family

Season 5 Episode 18

There's No Place Like...No Place

Aired Unknown Mar 25, 1989 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • Cousin Cora shouldn't be a bum. She got Uncle Oscar's boat business in episode #75. What happened with that. She never mentioned it!

  • Quotes

    • Woman: My little girl is safer in this jail than at that welfare hotel.
      Man: You'll find more criminals there than you ever will here.
      Mama: Good Lord.

    • Mama: My folks were dirt poor. We always had a roof over our heads.
      Vint: Yeah, but roofs cost a lot less in the olden days.
      Mama: Oh yeah, right. All we needed was a nice, sturdy cave to keep the dinosaurs from stomping on us.

    • *The family is issuing a missing person report for Mama*
      Mack: Name?
      Vint: Vinton Harper.
      Iola: No Vinton, not your name. Thelma Harper.
      Mack: Age?
      Iola: Uh, unknown.
      Naomi: She's pretty old though, and she's really let herself go. Her hips have spread, they kinda jiggle when she walks.
      Iola: Don't write that down.
      Bubba: Yeah. If she sees that, she'll blow up. She's got a real temper.
      JoJo: Lady, gimme those keys!
      Mama: Oh, blow it out you're ear, copper!
      Vint: There she is! That's my Mama!
      *The family runs to the cell*
      Mack: Thought that description sounded familiar.

    • Mama: I've heard what happens to big, buxom beauties behind bars.
      JoJo: Trust me, you got nothing to worry about.

    • Mama: Well, the fact is I'm only in here because my grandson ran off with my wallet.
      Bum: Kids nowadays!

    • JoJo: You have no idea what these people are really like.
      Mama: Well, you maybe right. You know I read about this lady was pregnant, she had no place to stay. She wound up having that baby in a barn.
      JoJo: Well, you see what I mean? They're just like animals.
      Mama: Course that kid didn't turn out too bad. Every December 25th all over the world, we celebrate the birthday of that baby in that barn.

    • Mama: Me and Iola got a hot date with Mel Gibson down at the Rayplex.
      Iola: Oh, I just love that cute little way he wrinkles his nose before he blows somebody away.

    • Naomi: Any one of these would be just a dream come true.
      Mama: Yeah, sure. It's every American's dream to buy a house they can't afford.

    • Iola: Well, congratulate me. I have been given my very own column in the Church Chimes.
      Mama: No, well how do ya like that. What are you gonna call it, "Skinny From the Skinny?"
      Iola: No, I'm gonna call it "Boylen's Beat." It'll have all the most exciting news in Raytown. Anybody got a scoop?
      Vint: Well, the Whittikers' dog died.
      Iola: I know. That's my lead story.
      Mama: Well, I tell ya, with excitement like that, you can just cancel my subscription to the Inquire.

    • *The cop puts Mama in the cell*
      Mama: But I don't belong in here! *rattles bars* I am not a vagrant! I am not a bum! *rattles bars* I AM NOT A CREEP! *turns around* Course, neither are any of you. *pause* When I said creep, I said it with love.

  • Notes

  • Allusions