Al: Well, that's the sound of the axel hitting the road. Means one of two things: either everybody in China just jumped off a chair, or your family's here.
Al: Remember when they were here last year? Shane was on. Just before it came on, Uncle Otto bet Uncle Irwin he couldn't stick his head through the TV. I didn't see Shane that year, Peg.
Peggy: Well, I know, Al. But you saw the end from the emergency room.
Al: "Come back, Shane. Shane. Goodbye, Shane". That's all I saw, Peg. I didn't even see the credits, because your mother lumbered in front of the set. By the time her entire body chugged by it was morning.
Al: Peg, now this is my first three day weekend I've had in a year. It's not like I'm gonna have a good time, you and the kids are gonna be there. But not the Wanker wagon from Milwaukee, Peg please, not that.
Al: Peg, you were great last night, You did what every man dreams his wife will do. You were asleep before I got home and out of bed before I woke up. How could I ever thank you?
Peggy: You could stop eating beans before bed.
Al: "Hondo", Peg... John Wayne's best movie... it only comes on once every 17 years. Oh Peg, please let me watch "Hondo".
Peg: Oh Al, you should be nicer to my family. After all, they're the only people in the world who think what you do is skilled labor.
Kelly: Uncle Otto! You look great.
Uncle Otto: And you, my darling, I could sell you.
Bud: Lemme tell you what the going rate is.
Al: While Hondo is on there will be on Belly-Butting, no spitting for distance and (Al looking at Otto) no one running around with underwear on their heads.
Al: (looking out the window) They brought the horse trailer. Is your mother in there?
Peg: It's the only way she can travel, Al.
Al: It's amazing - the triplets sleep in one bed and your mother sleeps in three.
Peg: You can't leave during a family crisis.
Al: This is no family. This is a lab experiment.
Wanker Triplet: I wanna marry.
Al: Somebody outside the family, right?
Uncle Otto: Now something's happened that's threatened [The Triplets] act.
Al: They faced the audience?
Uncle Otto: Al, I want to let you in on a little family secret.
Al: You're the fourth [Wanker] triplet?
Peg: Al, we need to talk.
Al: Why, I'm broke and I'm blind. What else is there to talk about?
Peg: You haven't been nice to my family.
Al: Well, neither has nature; go bother it.
Uncle Otto: You're not good enough for our family.
Al: Yeah, I've never been up on a morals charge.
Hondo is an actual western movie starring John Wayne & Ward Bond.
The creators of the show named the "Bundy" family after Christopher Pallies, who wrestled as "King Kong Bundy" and would appear on the show later as himself.
The three Delrubio sisters also went on to Full House to play Rene, Esther, and Mary or "R.E.M." (Also three singing old guitar players.)
This episode was dedicated to "Divine", a.k.a. Harris Glen Milstead, a famed transvestite "actress", a staple in the early movies of John Waters. This man was hired to play Uncle Otto for as a reccuring character on the show, but his manager found him dead in his apartment building.
Title: All in the Family
All in the Family was a comedy show that ran on CBS from 1971 to 1979.