Married... With Children

Season 11 Episode 9

Crimes Against Obesity

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Dec 29, 1996 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Recycled footage of past episodes are used in the flashbacks when exampling Al's behavior towards large women in his shoe store.

  • Quotes

    • Customer: Where do you think you're going? Aren't you open?
      Al: Sorry ma'am, but unlike your mouth we occasionally close.
      Customer: I want my money back. These shoes fell apart after one day and I want to know why.
      Griff: Well you see ma'am, this is a applied heel with a cork filling.
      Al: Where as you are a giant seal with a pork filling.
      Customer: You haven't heard the last of this. What goes around, comes around.
      Al: Well, considering your orbit, it looks like I have about ten more years.

    • Shirley: Remember me, Bundy?
      Al: No.
      Shirley: The one you insulted.
      Al: I'm sorry, ma'am. You're gonna have to be a little more specific.
      Shirley: You made fun of my weight. You called me a giant seal.
      Al: Well, let's see. I had four elephants. I had a rhino who wanted some flip-flops. I had a manatee. No, no, don't remember any seals. Can you jog my memory? You know what jog is. That's what you do when the ice cream truck is pulling out.

    • (Shirley tears a piece of paper, which Peg recognizes)
      Peg: (to Shirley) Hey! Those were our dinner coupons, you fat cow!
      Gwen: Excuse me. We don't like to be called fat!
      Peg: (to Gwen) Then stay home!

    • Matilda: My name is Matilda, and (points at Al) that man is fat-o-phobic!
      Women: And ugly!
      Shirley: (bangs gavel) Order!
      Large woman: Big Mac!
      Barbara: Filet O Fish!
      Gwen: Steamed vegetables! (everyone looks at her) Oh, uh, a meatball sandwich! (softly) I'll start tomorrow.

    • Matilda: (about Al's rudeness to large women) Does he ever stop?
      Peg: (about Al in general) Only in bed. But then, he never really gets started.

    • Peg: (about Al's attitude toward her mother) You can't believe how rude he was to her!
      Shirley: So, she's big-boned, as well?
      Peg: You know, inside her, there's a thin woman just dying to get out.
      Shirley: We all say that.
      Peg: No, there really is! Last Thanksgiving, she ate my Aunt Edna! I told her not to stand so close to the pies.

    • Peg: Kids, do you know what today is?
      Bud: Mom, you know you can't ask Kelly tough questions like that.
      Kelly: I know what today is. It's the bright sunny part before tonight.

    • Overweight Women: Two! Four! Six! Eight! Don't make fun of our weight! Two! Four! Six! Eight! Don't make fun of our weight!
      Al: One! Two! Three! Four! You're gonna fall through the floor!

  • Notes

  • Allusions