Peggy: What is it about men? They have perfectly good wives at home and yet they have to look at women like these.
Al: Well I guess, every now and then a guy who drives a dodge likes to close his eyes and imagine it's a ferrari.
Peggy: Yeah but what difference would that make to you. You don't know how to drive.
Al: Steve, I know I've seen her before, I just can't place where. (Brandi bends over slightly) That's it! Steve, she's a playmate. From Playboy magazine, Miss October 1987.
Steve: Can't be.
Al: Steve, I may not know the color of my wife's eyes, I don't know my children's birthday. But I know... I know that's Brandi Brandt, born 1968, teeny-teeny birthmark 'round bend of left knee, favourite move, The Big Boss.
Brandi: Do you mind if I walk in them?
Al: Well, I'd prefer you dance in them but it's not mandatory.
Kelly: What's this word?
Kelly: Oh, just like the letter.
Peggy: I need something lucky to rub.
Bud: How about Kelly? Every guy that rubs her gets lucky.
Al's Father: So, how's tricks? How are the kids?
Al's Father: How are my Playboys?
Al: You know, huh?
Al's Father: (Sarcastically) No, I care how you and the kids are.
This one features the ghost of Al's father. Hilariously, the ghost comes out of the bathroom.
User Score: 1758
User Score: 1236
User Score: 442
User Score: 241
User Score: 187
User Score: 166
User Score: 163
User Score: 119
User Score: 82
User Score: 64
User Score: 63
User Score: 51
User Score: 42
User Score: 31
User Score: 30
User Score: 29
User Score: 27
User Score: 26
User Score: 20
User Score: 20