Steve: Hello Peggy. (looks at Marcy) B-Woman.
Peggy: So, what'd you find out about Al?
Steve: I found out that he has the most pathetic life of any creature on this planet. And has nicer hair than my wife. (Marcy glares and snips) Now for my report. Subject arrived at work at 7 pm last night. Wept 'til 7:30, then turned on lights. Inventory 'til 8:30, bathroom 'til 10. 10:07, ate dinner, consisting of packaged condiments he lifted from Barny Dog. 10:31, the mall security guard comes by, clubs me about the head and ears and takes my watch. So from here on I don't know what time anything happenes. Went home. Looked at the sleeping klingon that used to be my wife.
Peggy: Come on lice capade, is he cheating on me or not.
Steve: You are a liar. All you men stick together.
Marcy: Yeah. You probably weren't even watching Al. Where have you been?
Steve: You got me. An old girlfriend, Kathleen Turner, was in town so I rubbed some grime and lice on my body and we went dumpster hopping.
Peggy: I've taken the best years of Al's life and this is how he thanks me.
Kelly: No guy walks away from me without lessons in the art of cover-up.
Bud: And the number of the free clinic.
Marcy: Peggy, I really don't think Al is cheating on you. I took an impromptu poll of all the women I know, and as far as his desirability... Al ranked below ALF; which means they'd rather make love to a piece of cloth with a man's hand in it, than with your husband.
Bud: Hey mom, do you think dad is cheating on you?
Peggy: Oh, of course not!
Bud: Good because we don't want to see you and dad break up, we're almost like a family here.
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