Kelly: How'd you do, Dad?
Al: I went 4 for 4, Bud went 4 for 4, and your mom... Well, we lost 17-8.
Peg: At least I hit the ball, Al.
Al: Oh, great. You finally make a bunt, and an 80-year-old man beats you to first base. 'Course, he wasn't wearing high heels.
Peg: I know, I know. I stink. But it was close.
Al: We lost to nuns.
Peg: I have never been so humiliated. In front of everyone, you told Sister Mary Alice, "Bless this, honey."
Al: Hey, I might not know all the religious gestures, but I recognized the one she gave to me.
Peggy: Well, look at that, Al. He has my name tattooed on his arm. You never did that.
Al: Well, maybe that's because I'm not insane like old Jimbo over there. Well, buddy, thanks for stopping by. Uh, listen, next time you want to mutilate some part of your body, just swing on by and show it to us.
Brian: (pointing to the couch) Is this your spot?
Al: This is my house. Every spot is my spot.
Al: If god had wanted women to play ball, he'd have made them men.
Al: It's only a game if you win. But if you lose, it's a stinking waste of time.
David Garrison and Amanda Bearse do not appear in this episode.
The episode title is a reference to the Rolaids slogan "How do you spell relief?"