Al: Peg! It's me and my angel!
Angel: She doesn't know you're there, Bundy. Just like when you're having sex!
Al: Turn the lights back off and give me the Hee Haw Girls!
Angel: I've been sitting around waiting for them to die myself!
Al: Wow, it's amazing. I believe you. You are an angel. Hey, I want another wish. Aren't you supposed to get three?
Angel: Hey, don't be a wish pig, Bundy. You want three wishes, get a genie.
Angel: What's it gonna take to convince you that I'm your guardian angel?
Al: Fly around and play a harp.
Angel: I'm an angel, not Tommy Tune.
Angel: Hey, this is no sleighride for me either. Usually on Christmas, I'd be over at Moses' house. We'd be out back by the pool, waiting for the new guy to jump off the diving board, and then Mo parts the water! Now that's Christmas! Yeah, but I sort of fell from grace. They caught me scalping tickets to a Jimi Hendrix concert... and here I am.
Al: How 'bout I go get my gun and shoot you with a nice silver bullet? Would you like that, buddy?
Angel: You'll have to give me a minute with this one, Bundy. I thought I was here to save a human soul.
Peggy: So Al... I, uh, notice you're not burdened down with presents for your loving family. Are they, uh, in the car?
Al: Well, no.
Bud: Are they, uh, being delivered?
Kelly: Are they... invisible?
(Al, Peg and Bud stare oddly at Kelly)
Kelly: Well, you guys get to ask the good questions. If for once you'd let me go first, I would've asked if they were being delivered...
Peggy: I knew it would pay to breast feed you until you were 9. You need any money, dear?
Bud: Oh no. I could never take any money from you. You and father have given me the best gift of all: the gift of life.
Al: Would he feel it if I kicked him?
Angel: No, but for a little extra cash, I could give him your dog's face.
Al: Would you take an I.O.U?
Angel: Not from you.
Angel: I'm sorry, Bundy. I failed you. I was sent down to Earth to show you a reason why you should live, but I can't think of one darn reason. I'll never get my wings now. And you know what kind of woman you get up in heaven driving around in a '78 Pinto? The same kind of woman you get down here driving around in a '78 Pinto.
Al: Well gee, this was fun. What next? We go back in time to the night I should have been conceived and watch my father invent the condom?
Angel: No more time travel for me, it gives me the runs.
Al: Bud, quick. What's more important - love or money?
Bud: Money. I can always rent love.
Al: Kelly, what's the color of an orange?
Kelly: Right now? No multiple choice? Straight off the top of my head?
Angel: I know you think you got it tough, your wife doesn't respect you, your kids think you're a failure, a good day for you is when you don't come across any new foot diseases... Believe me, I sympathize. But you think your life reeks? Take a whiff of mine, pal. My wife gained a hundred pounds for every year we were married. We had two kids, I think she ate 'em, I dunno. I hated driving home so much I had vanity plates written up that said "hit me". But despite it all, she loved me. You know how I know? Because she told me. Oh yeah. When I was at work, she loved my father, my brother, by bookie... but when I found my grandfather's teeth in my bed under the pillow, then I knew there was trouble in paradise. That's when I did what any other man would do, Bundy. I cancelled my insurance and I hung myself. Showed her, huh?
Al: And you're here to help me, huh?
Angel: I'm gonna be a real angel!!! But first I'm gonna visit my ex-wife.
Al: You really did love her, didn't you?
Angel: No, I'm gonna put a package of ding-dongs just out of reach of her pork-pie fingers. Then as she oozes that 500 pounds over the table, lifts up 3 of her chins so she can put one of 'em in her mouth, I'm gonna turn them into me - a 20 year old rotting corpse!
Peg: I saved myself for marriage.
Al: Oh come on!!! The football team retired her jersey!
This episode is *not* syndicated on the fourth season DVD, as some people may claim.
When this episode originally aired it aired as a one hour long episode. When split into two parts the second part ran longer than the usual 23 minutes or so, and thus two scenes had to be edited out: The beginning of the episode where Bud, Kelly and Peg make snowcones out of ice, and the scene where Marcy speaks to Al.
This "full" second part rarely airs, as the runtime is over 25 minutes.
In the book Hollywood Raw, Joseph Bauer, a member of the MWC supporting crew, discussed this particular episode in great detail, focusing mostly on Sam Kinison's outrageous behavior off camera.
David Garrison does not appear in the second part of this episode.
Marcy's appearance in the second part is edited out when this episode airs as two seperate episodes.
Sam Kinison, originally intended for the role of Al Bundy, guest stars in this episode.
Ted McGinley will later return to play Marcy's second husband Jefferson D'Arcy.
This episode is available on video.
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