Al: Now, I'm going to take care of all our credit problems.
Peggy: Well, you know, honey, I don't know much about these things, but it seems to me that when they take a buzz saw to your credit card in public, it's just their way of saying, "Get lost, deadbeat."
Al: We'll just send for some we don't have.
How are they gonna know you broke me? Ah, credit's so easy to get these days. These companies will just fight for a new guy like me.
(Days later, the Bundys are checking their mail for credit cards)
Al: Everybody said no?
Peggy: No. Everybody said, "Get lost, deadbeat."
Peggy: (while going through the mail) Here's something I missed. Oh, look, it's a credit card.
Al: Ha-ha! See? I told you anybody can get a credit card.
Peggy: "Anybody" did, Al. It's for Buck! (Al stares in shock while Peggy laughs) And you couldn't even get a gas card!
Peggy: Hey, Bud, Buck got a credit card.
Bud: Wow. Dad can't even get a gas card?
Al: Hey, as long as I'm not paying for it, nothing's too good for my wife.
Peggy: Al, you're just jealous of the dog.
Al: I'm jealous of everybody not married to you.
Peggy: Well you know honey, I don't know much about these things, but it seems to me that when they take a buzz-saw to your credit card in public, it's just their way of saying "Get lost, deadbeat".
Marcy: Anyway, Steve's out gassing up his Mercedes. We're going shopping. Wanna come Peg?
Peggy: Oh Al, can I?
Al: Oh ho ho, sure. And if Sven doesn't need anymore help with the lobsters, maybe I can get a job at the zoo, circumcising the tasmanian devil.
Al: Now, how am I gonna come up with 111 dollars? How am I gonna pay 111 dollars?
Peggy: Well, if you didn't have that grilled cheese sandwich, you could have put it on your credit card.
Al: Yeah, and if your father didn't lace that lemonade with vermouth, I'd be single.
Bud: They gave Buck a credit card. Dad's using it 'cause he didn't ask for it. So he doesn't have to pay. Y'know, like when you get records you didn't want.
Steve: Did he happen to sign Buck's name to the receipts?
Steve: Then it's-a-prison he'll be going.
Al: You know I said to Sven "is it worth it?",
and Sven said "vhen it's vor the vamily it's vorth it", yeah and he also said that a lobster could pinch through an atheletic support. Sven was 0 for 2 today!
Al: Well, when the bill comes, it'll come to Buck... What are they gonna do, sue a dog?!? Arrest him? Cuff 'em? Beat the hell out of 'em? and so what if they did?
Christina Applegate does not appear in this episode.
The episode title is also a slogan that was used by MasterCard.
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