Married... With Children

Season 3 Episode 12

My Mom, the Mom

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Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 26, 1989 on FOX
8.3
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Peg goes to Kelly's school for mother-daughter day and talks about the joy of being a housewife, meanwhile Bud has to learn the value of a dollar after breaking the Rhoades' window.

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Bud: Dad, I had a math test today, why are you doing this?
        Al: For once in your life I want you to see what your dad does all day long.(the toilet flushes and Al comes out) Ah, that's better. This is great, isn't it?
        Bud: Dad, tell me again this lesson I'll never forget because I already know how to go to the bathroom.
        Al: It's about responsibility Bud. You can't go through life asking for money and not doing anything to earn it. Your mom already cornered that market. I just want to show you where money comes from. You remember that three hundred and twenty pound behemoth that orbited her way in here about an hour ago?
        Bud: The one with the chicken wing between her teeth?
        Al: No, the other one. Now, that was a twenty dollar sale. That means a solid dollar ninety seven for me. After taxes, social security, and your mom, I just earned myself a cool nickel. (stops) Y'know, I never figured that out before, what the hell am I doin'? Other people make money. (to Bud) Ah, but we're not talking about me. We're talking about you. You're living in a time when possibilities for a smart young guy like you are limitless. Why you could... a nickel? That's what I make? What the hell keeps me going?
        Bud: Uh, Dad...
        Al: Just a second Bud, Dad needs a moment here. A nickel. That can't be right. It just can't be. Oh, well, the important thing is that you learn responsibility, and that old dad is a little more than a Ready Teller Machine that'll dole out money whenever anybody asks.

      • Kelly: You're not like other moms. I knew that my first day of kindergarten when I opened my lunch box and found a dollar and a road map to Burger King.

      • Marcy: Steve, did you know our window is broken?
        Steve: Yes. Bud did it, I apologized and they promised to let me pay for it.

      • Steve: Al, I know this is usually Encyclopedia Brittanica hour at your house, but I was wondering if you could spare a minute to pay for the window your son broke.
        Al: Wait a second, Steve. What makes you think Bud did it?
        Steve: Well, it happened right after I said to him, "Hey, Bud, aren't you throwing those snowballs a little close to my house?"
        Al: Bud, what do you have to say for yourself?
        Bud: Kelly's failing English.
        Al: I don't want to hear it. Now get some scotch tape and a piece of Steve's newspaper and tape up that window.
        Steve: Uh, Al, as soothing as the sound of wind whacking against the sports section may be, I was thinking more along the lines of fifty bucks for a new window.
        Bud: And I could use another sixty for a new jacket.
        Al: You know Steve, I'm glad this happened. This came at a perfect time.
        Steve: Winter?
        Al: No. It's time Bud learned some responsibility. (to Bud) You're gonna learn the value of a dollar. You're gonna pay for his window and your jacket.
        Steve: Al, why don't you give me the fifty and let Bud pay you back.
        Al: Hey, I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.
        Steve: Okay, how about this? It's six degrees in my living room and I think the lesson is mine to learn. I'll pay for the window myself.
        Al: That's fine for you, Steve, but what's in it for Bud?
        Steve: Okay. I'll give him fifty bucks to forget the whole thing.

      • Bud: Miss, have you seen my mom?
        Peggy: It's me, Bud.
        Bud: But you're... you're...
        Peggy: (weeping) Cooking? Yes, Bud.
        Bud: But not for us, right?
        Peggy: No. I wouldn't do that.

      • Kelly: Oh, Mom, I need a favor.
        Peggy: Anything, honey, as long as I don't have to get up.
        Kelly: Well, tomorrow's Mother-Daughter Career Day at school, and some mothers are going to talk about what they do. I volunteered you for refreshments, so I need eight hundred cookies by tomorrow.
        Peggy: Eight hundred cookies by tomorrow?! Why didn't you tell me before?
        Kelly: Hey, they only told me about it two weeks ago.

      • (Peg awakens from her sugar coma)
        Peg: Mom, I had the most horrible dream - I was married to a shoe salesman.

      • Kelly: Mom, when I grow up I want to be just like you. I want to do nothing, I want to be nothing.

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