Married... With Children

(Al pushes in an old Gremlin vehicle into the garage to the tune of 'King of the Road') Al: Oh, no... why, God? What have I done? Am I not fit to die? Peggy: Whoo! Good choice, Honey. It's a much lighter car. Al: Yeah, I can almost pull this one.

Al: All right everybody, let's hold it right there. Now, how long have I known you guys. What, about two, three hundred years? In that time, I've learned to do without several things: a yacht, a summer home, love, respect, food. I can accept that. But I will not live one more day without a car that runs. So, no more advice. I will go out on my own and find my own used-car lot, and if I come home tonight, God willing, it will be behind the wheel of something that goes "vroom!" Al Bundy pushes no more. Now, get out of my car!

Peggy: Hi, Honey. I saw you pushing your new car up the street. How do you like it? Al: Well, it pushes pretty smooth. But a little tough passing on the expressways. But the handling more than makes up for it.

Peggy: You are really mad about this? You know, if anyone should be mad, it's me. You're the one that's hiding money from me. Al: You would have squandered it all for yourself. Peggy: Of course I would! So, why are you acting so surprised?

Al: Honey, could you come out in the backyard with me? I have the urge to bury something big and red.

Al: You know, you kids have been so great. Why don't you hop in this car and I'll push the two of you to the ice cream parlor. Kelly: Thanks, Dad! Oh, and push it fast so we'll look cool.

(Al pushes in the garage his broken down car to the tune of 'I Get Around') Al: Yep, one more payment, and you're all mine.