Kelly: (dressed in a fancy evening gown) How do I look?
Bud: Like a limited edition, condom-packin' Barbie.
Kelly: Mom, I'm so excited. Me and Larry Storch on stage together. Tonight, I become a lesbian.
Peg: No, I think you mean a thespian.
Bud: Yeah, well the reviews aren't in yet.
Al: (in a play) I'll just sit here and play with my organ... (walks over to a piano) ...this one.
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