On the second morning at the cabin, the caption "Day Two...6:52 AM" is shown. No more than three minutes later, Peggy says "Al...it is 7:30 in the morning!"
Peg: (after Al and Steve rush back into the cabin) What happened?
Al: We were walking through the woods, quiet as you please, when all of a sudden the ground started shaking and something came crashing through a bush. I thought it was you, Peg, but it didn't want my wallet.
Bud: Dad, explain to me again why you need the Suit Of Many Hooks.
Al: Like the wily porcupine, I now have my armor of quills.
Bud: But unlike the wily porcupine, won't the animals stick to you?
Al: That's what the mighty horns are for, son. If anything gets close, I lower my head and proceed in an aggressive manner. That should end it right there. And then I have my secret weapon. (holds up raid) If anything goes wrong, I zap 'em in the face with bug spray.
Peggy: Why not just use your socks on a stick? Or would that be too cruel? God, you're sexy.
Kelly: Oh, I need a back rub.
Marcy: I need a foot rub.
Peggy: I need someone to yell at. Where are the men?
Al: Bud, go over and say something nice to your sister.
Bud: Dad, I don't even like her.
Al: Who does? Just go.
Bud: (walks over to Kelly) Hi, Kel. You're carrying that extra chin very nicely.
Marcy: I know what we can do, let's go on a nature hunt. We can collect leaves and arrowheads and take pictures of the wildlife.
Al: Yeah. Then we'll all get naked and sing "This Land Is Your Land".
Al: Kelly, honey, let me explain something about fishing rods. When you throw them down, you break them. Then daddy can't fish. If daddy can't fish, he's stuck with mommy. If daddy's stuck with mommy, nobody leaves here alive.
Al: (reading note aloud) Dear Peg. By the time you read this there will be nothing you can do about it. I was called away on an emergency fishing trip. I'll be away a week. I wouldn't blame you if you took the kids and left me. But if you do, take the dog too. I guess this is goodbye. Love, Al. (crosses something out) Al.
Al: You know honey, you're incredible. You ignore the children, you neglect the house and still you find time to let the dinner get cold before you serve it. How do you do it?
Peggy: Well Al, I care enough about me not to care about you.
Al: (Peg, Marcy and Kelly are menstruating) All three at once? What do they do, give it to each other?
Al: You know who was a good woman? Veronica from Archie Comics. Veronica never had a period.
Kelly: I didn't ask to be here, and I didn't ask to be born.
Peg: Well, it's her time of the month Al.
Al: What the hell did we bring her for then?
Bud: Squeak through another month eh' Kel?
Al: Well the cast of Bambi is out there now, and in here we have some of the seven dwarfs: puffy, crabby, and horny.
Peg: It's hot in here.
Marcy: It's cold in here.
Kelly: It's hot and cold in here.
This episode was supposed to be called "A Period Piece", because the show revolved around the fact that if a group of women live with each other for a long time, they start menstruating at the same time (and that animals would react to it). The FOX censors thought that women would be offended by the title (though the titles never appeared at the beginning of "Married...With Children") and asked the writers to revise the script so that the title would be called "The Camping Show".
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