Married... With Children

Season 3 Episode 19

The Dateless Amigo

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM May 07, 1989 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Bud: The day I stoop low enough to date a mannequin... is the day I truly earn the name Bundy.

    • Steve: Al said he has some great news and I've got a 70-dollar bottle of champagne and a 10-dollar bottle of wine. (holds up the champagne) Are you moving away?
      Peggy: No.
      Steve: Alrighty. (gives the champagne bottle to Marcy) Are you going on a very extended vacation?
      Peggy: No.
      Steve: Alrighty. (gives the wine bottle to Marcy) Well, if the news is good enough, I still have a chiclet in my pocket that we can divi up.
      Marcy: Now Steve, Peggy may think that we don't like them. (holds up champagne) Is Al going to prison?

    • Al: You know Peg, you could just put a straw in my ear and that way you could suck the life from me.
      Peggy: You know I would but there's just not enough room in there for a straw and your finger.
      Al: Oh I love you too my little ice pick in the eye. (Bud comes down the stairs with two of his friends) Guys, step back and take a good look at your future.

    • Peggy: God, what a lump of sour milk my life is, that I'm actually looking forward to a shoe convention.
      Al: Well, I'm not. Just another place to remind me of my failures. You know, work, home.
      Peggy: The bedroom.
      Al: You're always there for me when I'm down, aren't you babe?
      Peggy: Oh, I'm nothing special. Just a wife.
      Al: You claim.

    • Kelly: Bud, look at yourself. Face the ugly truth. They don't have woods deep enough to grow the kind of girls that would be willing to date you. I mean, maybe you're aiming too high. You know, a live girl. See, your problem is, you've got caviar taste and a pizza face. Aim a little lower. Hey, logs can't run away! And then there's the dead. You know, a girl who's been dead long enough might even think that you're a good catch. Hey, I know, how about a nice department store mannequin? I mean, they're used to being undressed by sexless boys.
      Bud: Thanks for the help, Bleached Blanket Bimbo.
      Kelly: They may call me bimbo, but at least they call me.

    • Marcy: Steve, don't tell them about your insane quest to create the 99 cent coin.
      Steve: Al, I invented the 99 cent coin. Have you ever noticed how things cost $7.99? $14.99? $99.99? My coin will eliminate the messy change that only catches the attention of obnoxious beggars who hastle you on the way to your Mercedes. What do you think of it, Al?
      Al: What about tax?
      Steve: (After pause) You sound just like those fools in the treasury department.
      Marcy: Well, Dear, maybe if you hadn't have insisted on putting your picture on the coin.
      Steve: Whose should it have been? Yours? Look, Al, you gotta see your dream through, Buddy. All they can do is laugh at you.
      Marcy: And audit you for five straight years.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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