Married... With Children

Season 11 Episode 22

The Desperate Half-Hour (1)

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM May 05, 1997 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Bud: Ok, Dad, now we've gotta come up with a plan. What would Charles Bronson do?
      Al: Well, he'd usually go on a revenge spree after his loved ones were brutally slaughtered.
      Bud: Think of something else!

    • (Al just sent Lucky for help)
      Al: We may need an alternate plan. I've got another idea.
      Marcy: Uh-huh, are you going to command a squadron of flies from your hamper to attack?
      Al: If I could command those flies, do you think you'd still be alive?!

    • (After Griff becomes a hostage along with the Bundys and D'Arcys)
      Al: Didn't you see the "Help" sign I hung out of the bathroom window?
      Griff: Al, you've been hanging "Help" signs ever since I've known you.

    • Starla: All right, get down and shut up! Oh, this sucks! The minute I set foot in this dump, my life went straight to hell.
      Al: So did mine.

    • Starla: (to the police) Now, listen up, pigs! I want a car to the airport, I want a plane to Brazil, and $50,000 cash!
      Al: I demand the same thing!

    • Marcy: We have got to get the gun away from her. Now, we need someone big and strong and expendable.
      Jefferson: (to Bud) Where is your father?
      Starla: (to Bud) Hey! You told me your father was dead.
      Bud: That's right! He died... (sound of toilet flushing) ...before he could fix the plumbing.

    • Starla: Now, we're gonna need some food for the road. (points gun at Peg) You! Go cook us something.
      Peg: You animal!
      (Peg runs into kitchen, crying)
      Starla: Don't think about trying to poison us, either!
      Bud: Yeah, uh, she doesn't have to think about it. It, uh, just sort of happens.

    • Kelly: Mom, I'm scared.
      Peg: Don't worry, she doesn't know that Daddy's upstairs... he's our secret weapon.
      Kelly: (sadly) Yeah, if he leaves the bathroom door open!

  • Notes

  • Allusions

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