Bud: Ok, Dad, now we've gotta come up with a plan. What would Charles Bronson do?
Al: Well, he'd usually go on a revenge spree after his loved ones were brutally slaughtered.
Bud: Think of something else!
(Al just sent Lucky for help)
Al: We may need an alternate plan. I've got another idea.
Marcy: Uh-huh, are you going to command a squadron of flies from your hamper to attack?
Al: If I could command those flies, do you think you'd still be alive?!
(After Griff becomes a hostage along with the Bundys and D'Arcys)
Al: Didn't you see the "Help" sign I hung out of the bathroom window?
Griff: Al, you've been hanging "Help" signs ever since I've known you.
Starla: All right, get down and shut up! Oh, this sucks! The minute I set foot in this dump, my life went straight to hell.
Al: So did mine.
Starla: (to the police) Now, listen up, pigs! I want a car to the airport, I want a plane to Brazil, and $50,000 cash!
Al: I demand the same thing!
Marcy: We have got to get the gun away from her. Now, we need someone big and strong and expendable.
Jefferson: (to Bud) Where is your father?
Starla: (to Bud) Hey! You told me your father was dead.
Bud: That's right! He died... (sound of toilet flushing) ...before he could fix the plumbing.
Starla: Now, we're gonna need some food for the road. (points gun at Peg) You! Go cook us something.
Peg: You animal!
(Peg runs into kitchen, crying)
Starla: Don't think about trying to poison us, either!
Bud: Yeah, uh, she doesn't have to think about it. It, uh, just sort of happens.
Kelly: Mom, I'm scared.
Peg: Don't worry, she doesn't know that Daddy's upstairs... he's our secret weapon.
Kelly: (sadly) Yeah, if he leaves the bathroom door open!
Married...With Children's ratings had dropped considerably by this point.
This episode is actually one long scene
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