Married... With Children

Season 7 Episode 23

Tis Time to Smell the Roses

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM May 02, 1993 on FOX
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Al accepts an offer of a year's salary of $12,000 to retire early from the shoe store, but his retirement is short lived when he discovers Peg has hidden his money. He gets a job at a different shoe store, where he's inspired to become a business owner after he's assigned to be a temporary manager.moreless

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (9)

      • Al: Now, Peg, I know you could never guess, so I'm just going to tell you. I want to buy a shoe store. It's a goldmine. No, I do not want your opinion. Give me the money.
        Peg: Al, what woman would giver her husband his money? Honey, it just isn't done.
        Al: Peg, I need it and I need it now, baby! Can't you see, Peg, I'm actually really excited about something.
        Peg: Well, believe me, Al, I am the expert on this. Wait about 30 seconds, you won't be anymore.

      • Charlene Tilton: Hi, I'm Charlene Tilton! And I'd like to introduce you to The Abdominizer!
        (Charlene demonstrates exercising with The Abdominizer
        Kelly: Hey Mom, how did you ever get Charlene Tilton to come exercise in our living room?
        Peg: Well, I called to order one of those things, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to buy it, so she rushed right over to answer all my questions.
        Charlene Tilton: It's easy and fun!
        Bud: You just described me, you former "Dallas" cutie. I like to call myself, "Abdominizer B." But, I don't need no stinkin' exerciser. I get plenty of exercise up in my room.
        Charlene Tilton: Yes, but with The Abdominizer, for the first time, you could have some company.

      • Habib #1: Learn our names quickly, old one. Soon we will be Ownership Habibs. This shoe store is for sale and we our saving our money to buy it.
        Al: Ah, just go ahead and play the lottery. There's no money in shoes. I was selling shoes when you guys were just a gleam in a New York taxi cab driver's eyes.

      • Al: (singing)
        Day-O! Day-Day-O! Daylight come and I workin' no more! Daylight come and I no workin' no more!
        (Peg enters the front door)
        I see deadly red tarantula!
        But I sit here with my hand in my pantula!

      • Jefferson: You could use the time off, Old Paint. Uh, don't wind up like my dad. The man worked through his '70s. Every day of his life, his back bent from work.
        Al: Uh. Was he a coal miner?
        Jefferson: Nah, a gigolo. Oh, he was always going to retire but then it was too late. Tragically died preparing for a job. Burned to death in a tanning bed. But at least he died the way he always wanted to. With no tan lines.
        Marcy: Jefferson still has the cotton balls that were between what used to be his dad's toes.
        Jefferson: I can't tan or eat a well-done steak without thinking of that man.
        Marcy: (kisses Jefferson on the head))
        My poor baby. His was a close, but tragic family. His mother was an exotic dancer. She was swallowed whole by her snake during a break at Airport Totally Nude.
        Jefferson: I can't wear a belt or buy an expensive pair of boots without thinking she's in them.
        (Jefferson cries)

      • Al: ...and so, er...(Al checks the name written on a name plate) Miss, er, Blawb...
        Ms. Blaub: (angrily) MS! Blaub.
        Al: Er, yeah, I'm sorry. Your name was partially obscured, errant flesh. As I was saying, I'm just not going to take just anything, un-like
        you at a buffet. So um, what do you have for me?
        Ms. Blaub: (snidely) Some Mennen Speed Stick in my desk?
        Al: Well, let me give you a tip: it goes under your arms...if you can ever get them horizontal.

      • Al: I didn't work 20 years to pay off a Visa bill! Creditors don't get one penny! How dare they expect us to pay for five-year-old items? I mean, if they're stupid enough to give me credit, let them raise their interest and let the honest people pay for it!

      • (In employment office talking to counselor)Al: Now look, I'm putting myself in your sweaty, bloated hands here! I'm looking for a career, not just a job. You know, like a doctor, or a guy who plays with hooters all day. Ms. Blaub: That would be an anesthesiologist.

      • Al: Look Blob!
        Ms. Blaub: (annoyed) Blaub!!
        Al: I know your name! It was a descriptive term.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)

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