When Santa falls in the backyard, you can see Ed O' Neil practically laughing.
Al: Well, you know how, uh... even when we didn't have too much we could always look at the poor people who were less fortunate than us and feel better. Well, lets find a mirror.
Peggy: Al, get rid of those kids.
Al: If I knew how to do that we wouldn't have ours.
(Al opens the door and announces to the kids)
Al: Okay everybody, boys and girls, and you Tony. Santa's okay. Now he just had a little bit of Mrs. Bundy's cooking and he's in the bathroom bent over, but he's going to be fine, so go home.
Steve: Okay, I'm going to take Marcy upstairs.
Peggy: Put her down on our bed.
Marcy: Steve, I'm afraid.
Steve: I'll lay down newspaper.
Steve: Don't worry, Marcy. I'll take you home.
Marcy: Yes, home. Where Perry Como sings and Santa is still alive.
Al: What? Did the Easter Bunny hang himself in our front yard?
Reporter: Did anyone see him fall?
Bud: I wish!
Al: Peggy, i'm ashamed of you.
Peggy: I know you are.
Al: That mall's not so great. Just a bunch of cheap, gawdy merchandice that only appeals to the tasteless, low-class shopper.
Peg: (walks through door with LakeSide mall bag sing-songingly) Santa Clause is coming to the LakeSide Mall!
Kelly: So dad, can we go to that new Lakeside Mall?
Al: No and i'll tell you why: That mall is killing your father.
Bud: Oh, I thought mom was doing that.
Al: Bud, apologize to your sister!
Al: (shrugs) Okay.
Kid: I wanna sit on your lap.
Al: All right but make it fast. Santa has hemorrhoids.
Al: Your mom's the one who makes the pies for everyone in the neighborhood except but nice Bundys, isn't she. Okay, Santa will leave you a pony under your tree. But if it isn't there in the morning, that means your mommy chased it away and killed it.
Marcy: Santa's gone. I'll never be able to enjoy Christmas again.
Peggy: Oh, Marcy, cheer up. It could have been worse, he could have landed on the picket fence.
Steve: You ghouls! Don't you understand there's a splattered Santa all over your yard?
David Faustino's younger brother Michael is in this episode.
This episode begins with a warning: "The following depicts a Bundy Christmas. It could be upsetting to small children and others. Parental guidance is suggested."
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