Klinger: You need an asafoetida bag.
Klinger: Asafoetida bag. You take a clove of garlic, hang it around your neck, and let the fumes do the rest.
B.J.: It also keeps away vampires.
Hawkeye: I'm a human being, not a salami.
Margaret: Ignore him, what you need is some eucalyptus.
B.J.: Hah, hah, eucalyptus. You must mean camphorated oil.
Charles: Arsenic will solve your problems, Pierce. I know it would solve mine.