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CBS (ended 1983)

fav MASH quotes

  • Avatar of juvaphu20

    juvaphu20

    [41]Oct 18, 2005
    • member since: 09/26/04
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    when Frank comes and says"did I do something Fun"

    Hawkeye says"I don't know did you just come out of surgeon"

    when the horse got sick and they had to help her.
    BJ says"we have to clean her out lots and lots of warm water"

    Hawkeye says"I think I go up to the front and see how the shooting is going."

    I remember when Charles first comes in

    Charles says" I need to make a call"

    Radar says" On phone sir"

    Charles says"No open up the window yell"
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [42]Oct 19, 2005
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    Hawkeye: What a unique device, the human tush. An architectural wonder, one of a kind... actually two of a kind. Designed to support our weight for a lifetime of sitting it also has the subtlety to do the samba. And when attached to certain members of the female species at a time when light summer dresses are worn can cause some of us to drive our cars straight up a lamppost.
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  • Avatar of _CoxswainM13_

    _CoxswainM13_

    [43]Oct 19, 2005
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    I LOVE that quote!
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  • Avatar of juvaphu20

    juvaphu20

    [44]Oct 20, 2005
    • member since: 09/26/04
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    that was a awesome quote.

    here one from Adams' Ribs

    it's inhuman to serve the same food day after day. I eating a river of liver and a ocean of fish.

    I eating so much fish I ready to grow gills. I eating so much liver the only I can make love if I covered in bacon and onions.

    here another one from banana,crackers,and nuts.

    Hawkeye.If your going that mean Frank Burns is incharge. Everytime you go he turns into instant Hitler.

    Hawkeye. I don't get out of here I got to start pulling flowers off the wallpaper. I had a dream last that I was sleep and I dreaming when I was awake.
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [45]Oct 20, 2005
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    Hawkeye: Flaps up... No offence Margret



    lol i LOVE that 1 i was watching it last nite on DVD...
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  • Avatar of fullmetalbullet

    fullmetalbullet

    [46]Oct 22, 2005
    • member since: 05/15/04
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    Episode: Images

    Quote:

    Hawkeye: Radar, You got a tattoo!?
    Radar: No, don't worry. It's not permanent, it'll come off the next time I take a shower
    Hawkeye: Oh my god, it is permanent!
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  • Avatar of Canadian83

    Canadian83

    [47]Oct 23, 2005
    • member since: 09/02/05
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    [to Hawkeye and B.J. about the funniest person in camp]
    Klinger: You two don't make the first cut. I'm writing my Uncle Abdul about what kind of place this is. Doctors, nurses, saving lives. Well, I got a commanding officer who dresses me up in his clothes and sits me on a horse named Sophie so he can paint his own picture. There's a priest writing war ditties. And a snooty major who pays me twenty bucks to go out into the woods with him and watch him blow up a pigeon with a land mine. And if that doesn't beat all, I got a head nurse who shoots unarmed luggage. All you guys do is go around telling jokes. What the hell is so funny about that?"
    - Dear Uncle Abdul

    Radar: When my Uncle Ed came home from World War I, his mother could tell from the look in his eyes that he hadn't been a good boy in France. She cried for three days. I just know when I get home, my mother's going to look at me and chuckle for a week.
    - Fallen Idol

    BJ: The tent is spinning around.
    Hawkeye: Which way?
    BJ: Clockwise.
    Hawkeye: Mine is going counterclockwise. Maybe together we're sober.
    - Last Laugh
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  • Avatar of _CoxswainM13_

    _CoxswainM13_

    [48]Oct 23, 2005
    • member since: 06/11/05
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    Canadian83 wrote:
    [to Hawkeye and B.J. about the funniest person in camp]
    Klinger: You two don't make the first cut. I'm writing my Uncle Abdul about what kind of place this is. Doctors, nurses, saving lives. Well, I got a commanding officer who dresses me up in his clothes and sits me on a horse named Sophie so he can paint his own picture. There's a priest writing war ditties. And a snooty major who pays me twenty bucks to go out into the woods with him and watch him blow up a pigeon with a land mine. And if that doesn't beat all, I got a head nurse who shoots unarmed luggage. All you guys do is go around telling jokes. What the hell is so funny about that?"
    - Dear Uncle Abdul

    I was watching that one for the first time yesterday. HILARIOUS!!! The part where Margaret shot her luggage really made me laugh.

    Canadian83 wrote:

    Radar: When my Uncle Ed came home from World War I, his mother could tell from the look in his eyes that he hadn't been a good boy in France. She cried for three days. I just know when I get home, my mother's going to look at me and chuckle for a week.
    - Fallen Idol


    This was another one of my favorites..
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  • Avatar of Canadian83

    Canadian83

    [49]Oct 23, 2005
    • member since: 09/02/05
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    _CoxswainM13_ wrote:
    Canadian83 wrote:
    [to Hawkeye and B.J. about the funniest person in camp]
    Klinger: You two don't make the first cut. I'm writing my Uncle Abdul about what kind of place this is. Doctors, nurses, saving lives. Well, I got a commanding officer who dresses me up in his clothes and sits me on a horse named Sophie so he can paint his own picture. There's a priest writing war ditties. And a snooty major who pays me twenty bucks to go out into the woods with him and watch him blow up a pigeon with a land mine. And if that doesn't beat all, I got a head nurse who shoots unarmed luggage. All you guys do is go around telling jokes. What the hell is so funny about that?"
    - Dear Uncle Abdul

    I was watching that one for the first time yesterday. HILARIOUS!!! The part where Margaret shot her luggage really made me laugh.


    It's actually one of my all time favourite episodes, comically speaking.
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  • Avatar of ahunterswife

    ahunterswife

    [50]Oct 25, 2005
    • member since: 08/28/05
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    This is my 1st post but thought i would jump have been lurking for awhile now. My favortie quote is

    "are you cereal Frank" Hawkeye said this to Frank.
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [51]Nov 13, 2005
    • member since: 06/14/05
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    welcoem to tv.com
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  • Avatar of amdragon

    amdragon

    [52]Nov 15, 2005
    • member since: 05/19/05
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    Heres 1

    Hawkeye:
    "One day in class somebody raised his hand and asked 'Doctor, what would you do if someone died right when he stepped outside your office' and without missing a beat he turned around and said 'I would turn him around and make it look like he was walking in!'"

    (Thats as close to the exact words as i can remember. not bad for a 17 year old huh?)
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [53]Nov 19, 2005
    • member since: 06/14/05
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    I believe this to be one of the most powerful scene between hawkeye and radar. I knew most of it but i got it from IMDB.net, so its more correct

    Radar: You walked out on a patient, and Major Winchester had to finish for you.
    Hawkeye: So? I'd have done the same for him if he were sick.
    Radar: Well a lot of people don't look at it like you were sick, Hawkeye. A lot of people look up to you here. They admire you and they kinda feel they want to be like you. And... Gee, when you walk out on an operation, you make them feel like you've let them down. If they can't depend on you, well, they figure, well, maybe there's no point in depending on anything.
    Hawkeye: Look you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? The blood of children.
    [slams down a pillow]
    Hawkeye: I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then the hell with it.
    [stands up; turns around]
    Hawkeye: How *dare* you! The hell with your Iowa naivete and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear and while you're at it, the hell with *you*. Why don't you grow up, for crying out loud?! I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder. If possible, without going crazy. Period.
    [Radar stifles crying]
    Hawkeye: Come on, cut it out. Stop it, will you? You *ninny*!
    [exits]
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [54]Nov 19, 2005
    • member since: 06/14/05
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    Hawkeye: I'm reminded of a story. You've probably heard it. The, uh, King and Queen of this country were playing golf with FIVE CLUBS, when their son, Jack, remarked how strange it was they had only TWO HEARTS between them. Just then, Deucey and her little dog, Tres, started singing "Four Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend." Whereupon the entire family beat her to death and buried her with TWO SPADES. Did you get it?"
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  • Avatar of _CoxswainM13_

    _CoxswainM13_

    [55]Dec 3, 2005
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    THAT one is HILARIOUS!
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [56]Dec 4, 2005
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    tehehe i agree
    o0o and has any one say the one in my foot note?

    thats another fave or mine

    Hawkeye: Dear Dad, I am not dead. Stop. Hope you are the same. Stop. Thinking of selling my golf clubs? Stop. Spending my insurance money? Stop
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  • Avatar of fittes

    fittes

    [57]Dec 6, 2005
    • member since: 11/14/05
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    When hotlips and hawkeye get back to camp and its charles' turn to go to the line and all of them are smiling and the keep smiling and keep saying "what are you smiling at?", "nothing, what are you smiling at?"
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  • Avatar of xbox_lover

    xbox_lover

    [58]Dec 6, 2005
    • member since: 07/02/04
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    Margaret: Isn't that Frank's bag ?
    Trapper: I thought you were Frank's bag ?
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [59]Dec 13, 2005
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    Hotlips: Your so above average frank
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  • Avatar of Kylie1403

    Kylie1403

    [60]Dec 13, 2005
    • member since: 06/14/05
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    Radar: Permission to throw up sir?
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