(Radar refuses to leave MASH)
Hawkeye: We all wait for that day! We dream about it! We pray for it! We'd sacrifice a virgin if we could find one! How dare you!!
Radar: I'm sorry, there's too much around here I gotta do!
Hawkeye: No no no no, you're not pulling that tripe on me! They've been holding wars long before you signed up, and the fun'll continue long after you leave! Let me put this as gracefully as I can: We don't need you!
Radar: (chuckles) Oh, ya don't huh? How's your generator? Is Klinger gonna find you one? If things got tough, and you were the one that was leavin', you'd be stayin'!
Hawkeye: Don't bet on it. I'd be outta here so fast my shorts would have to catch the next plane!
Radar: Oh, yeah yeah. I saw ya workin' in OR with your hurt finger. You'd stay! Hey, listen, I got responsibilities around here, just like you.
Hawkeye: You've got responsibilities at home, you jackass!
Radar: Well how about if I wanna make up my own mind? I'm no kid anymore, ya know! I've been around.
Hawkeye: Oh, excuse me, Mr. Globetrotter ... Why bless my soul, Mrs. O'Reilly's little boy is a big man now. I guess you've outgrown all that other stuff, huh? Ottumwa, the farm - your mother - Ah! Your mother! Have you outgrown your responsibility to her?
Radar: Listen, how I take care of my mom is my business. You said it yourself, Hawkeye. Nobody should tell somebody else how to run their life!