M*A*S*H

Season 4 Episode 18

Hawkeye

4
Aired Unknown Jan 13, 1976 on CBS

Episode Recap

Part One: Hawkeye is driving back to camp after working at an aid station, when he sees a boy and girl running into the road in front of him. He swerves to miss them and crashes his jeep. The kids help him out and he staggers to their hut. The family doesn't speak English and Hawkeye only speaks a little Korean. The mother offers some water, and Hawkeye refuses it because he's worried about germs. He tells them where the camp is, near Ouijongbu, and they recognize the name. He writes a note to tell them what has happened to him, and gives it to the oldest daughter to get it to them. Hawkeye realizes that his head is bleeding, and that he may have a concussion. He starts talking about anything and everything, because he is afraid that he would die if he falls asleep with a concussion, though it is not medically proven. He starts talking about Maine, and gives a complete medical discussion about what happened to him. He tells about a party in college where he got sick on beer, and a football player came over to tell him not to let go, and he threw up all over the player's shoes. He names the bones of the head, and starts singing and dancing, which amuses the children. He sees the mother cooking and says he has a taste for whitefish or marinated herring. He tells of a delicatessen he frequented while in medical school which had a delicious whitefish. Then he tells of a waitress at the delicatessen who was 'built like a brick autopsy.' The mother gives him some of the local moonshine, which he almost chokes on. The kids giggle, and Hawkeye takes out a rubber glove from his medical bag. He starts to blow it up like a balloon, but he starts to feel faint and the son finishes it. They then play with it and the son and daughter take it outside to play with it. Hawkeye then tells about a girl in elementary school who let him touch her slip--in a box. He then tells about a teacher of his in medical school he liked, and his geometry teacher, who terrified him. He imitated her yelling, which brings in the dog to bark at him. Then he goes outside and watches the kids play with the balloon and talks to the ox, telling it about great ox movies.

Part Two: Later that evening, Hawkeye wonders why no one from camp has come for him. He says that he had a practice in Boston before he was drafted and that the great thing was that Boston is where all the musicals go to try out before going to Broadway. He says that he saw all the great ones, and even sings 'Some Enchanted Evening' from South Pacific; the ending makes the dog howl. He also tells of a bad musical called Up Your Love, and does an imitation of Laurence Olivier in Richard III. The father is smoking a pipe through all this. Then it's time for dinner, and Hawkeye has to take off his boots. Seeing the pregnant girl makes him wonder how babies work. He says he wonders how the body works without any prompting. He starts talking about strippers and their bodies. He then starts talking about the thumb, and how it separates humans from other animals. He then shows how the thumb opposes and how it can make the fist, and how the best thing was not to clench the fist, but opening the hand, and juggles a bit to show human fragility. The family loves the juggling, but Hawk starts feeling faint again. Just then Radar pulls up honking. As he leaves, the mother gives him the items he was juggling, but Hawkeye gives him one of them back, saying, 'The love I'll leave with you.' He then says goodbye to everyone, including Margo (the ox.)

Epilogue: Hawkeye returns to the hut, saying 'I have returned to Korea' in Korean. He is bearing gifts: a grater for the mother, comics and candy for the kids, some good tobacco for the father, and his name in Korean for the pregnant girl, so that she can contact him when the baby is due. Then he finds the mother cooking and she gives him a bite. He tastes meat, but suspects it might be the dog, until he hears it barking.
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