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M*A*S*H

Season 5 Episode 13

Hawk's Nightmare

4
Aired Unknown Dec 21, 1976 on CBS

Episode Recap

Part One: During an OR session, Hawkeye complains how young the soldiers are. Frank says that their age doesn't matter, that they are just soldiers. Hawkeye instead looks to his patient, a Pvt. Timothy Banks, and says that he should be burped by his mother. He then says all the doctors are pediatricians, except for Frank. When Frank asks him what he is, Hawk says, 'Don't rush me. I'm still working on it.' Frank then bumps into Margaret, who calls him a clumsy oaf, to which Hawk says, 'And no prompting from the studio audience, please.' Later, BJ pulls the covers over an exhausted Hawkeye in the Swamp. However, he gets up and leaves. He walks through post-op saying he's on his way to a root beer float. Frank says that he's probably out 'catting around' but Margaret says he's just trying to unwind after working 19 hours. Frank says that he did too, but Margaret says he slept. Frank says he took a nap, but Margaret says, 'Eight hours isn't a nap.' Frank is enticed by her perfume and tries to get back with her, but she refuses, so he says she smells like a French hooker. Meanwhile, Hawkeye starts pretending to play basketball in the compound. He calls Klinger 'Scooter', asks about the new principal, and says he likes his new BB gun. Then he asks Nurse Baker to play ball with him, then he goes back to bed. The next morning in the mess tent, Baker tells him to be careful asking her to 'play ball.' When he sits down, Klinger tells him about the basketball playing and Frank tells him about his walking through post-op. He doesn't remember any of it until Klinger mentions his talking about his principal. BJ says he must have been sleepwalking. When Frank says that he may have done surgery in his sleep too, BJ says, 'The voice of experience.' Col. Potter says it may be because he's working too hard. Later, in post-op, Hawkeye talks to Pvt. Burke and tells him about Crabapple Cove, the scenery, the people, and his dad. That night, Hawkeye goes sleepwalking again, this time playing hopscotch and marbles. He calls Radar 'stinky' and when Klinger comes along, they help get Hawk back to bed. However, he starts mumbling, then screams out 'Toby! Toby, the trees!' before waking up. He tells BJ that he had a nighmare that Toby Foster, one of his best friends, was riding his sled down a hill too fast and was about to hit some trees when he woke up. BJ says it was just a dream, but Hawk says his heart is pounding, his hands are clammy and he may have wet the bed.
Part Two: During another OR session, Margaret tells Hawkeye that his dream may have been a premonition, but he says he doesn't believe in that. She asks if he as a more logical explanation. BJ tells him that he shouldn't get worried over 'a little sleepwalking and one nightmare,' that they may have been caused by tension, and not eating well. Hawk says that he will call Toby Wilder, not because he believes in premonitions, but just to hear his voice. However, when he does call, he can't tell Toby about the dream because he keeps asking Hawk about $37 that he supposedly owes him. Hawk claims that he paid him, and when he gets accused of lying, he tells Toby to 'come over here and collect!' Later, in the O Club, Hawk tells Klinger about the call. He says that he is upset over callong 11,000 miles away to try and save Toby's life and all he was worried about is a supposed debt. Klinger tells him that people talk about long distance calls like they had to walk all the way. Father Mulcahy, who's been playing the piano, gets up and leaves. Klinger starts to leave also, but Hawkeye wants hin to stay. When Klinger tells him good night, he says, 'Easy for you to say.' In the Swamp, he tries to get Frank to talk to him, to tell him about his hometown. When he refuses, Hawk starts to tell him about his hometown. He then asks Frank if he was ever afraid to fall asleep. He says no, but he had a Popeye nightlight when he was a kid. His father took it away, saying that it was dark 12 hours out of 24 and he didn't want a kid who was afraid half the time. He goes back to sleep and Hawk goes to his cot, saying 'Popeye, where are you when I need you?' Later, he does have another nightmare, screaming so loud it wakes up Col. Potter. Hawk goes to Radar's office and tells him he needs to call home again, saying that he saw another friend, Dickie Barber, in an explosion. When Potter comes in, Hawkeye explains things and Potter allows the call. He then leads Hawkeye to Radar's cot and has him lie down. Hawkeye winds up on top of Radar's teddy bear and he starts holding it. Potter tells Radar that when Hawk's call is done to place another call…to Sidney Freedman. Back in the Swamp, Hawk says that Dickie is fine and that his hometown will think he's turning into a ghoul. He tells BJ that he's scared. He says that it's one thing to live near a shooting gallery, but now he's being attacked from inside; afraid to close his eyes at night. In Radar's office, Sidney tells the colonel that he will be there tomorrow. Radar says that he thought Hawkeye was doing well fighting what he calls 'the war against the war.' He says everyone fights it: the colonel by painting and riding his horse, and Radar by working hard and caring for his pets. He also says that Hawkeye really fought it by joking about it: the worse it got the more he joked about it. Potter says that now the jokes aren't working. Radar says the other side is winning; when Potter reminds him about David and Goliath, Radar says that David wasn't afraid to go to sleep at night. The next evening, a poker game is held in the Swamp. In one hand, everyone folds to Radar, Hawkeye saying he has a pair of nines. Radar then says all he had was a pair of sevens. When he apologizes, Hawk jokes that it's sad that not only Radar beats him out of a pot, he pities him besides. Sidney gets up to go for a walk, and Hawk asks to tag along. Sidney asks about the nightmares; when Hawk asks if Potter told him, he asks if Hawk would be upset; Hawk says that he would be grateful for his concern. Hawk asks why he sleepwalks and has the nightmares. Sidney asks what he thinks it means. Hawk says that he's trying to escape. Sidney tells him that his subconcious is going for a walk and taking his body along. When Hawk says he isn't getting far, Sidney says he's making it back to his childhood in his hometown, where the worst thing to worry about were shooting marbles and playing ball, where pain was a skinned knee. He says that the nightmares are a reaction to seeing all the young soldiers, or as he calls it, 'the bloody assembly line.' He says that the war invades Hawkeye's dreams: 'The dream is peaceful, reality is the nightmare.' When Hawk asks if he's crazy, Sidney tells him that he's probably the sanest person he knows, and that if he was crazy, he'd sleep like a baby. He says that when the war-the big nightmare-ends, the others will too, but that he can't avoid all the suffering. Then he decides to play a little ball and pretends to shoot a basketball. Hawkeye says he's pretty bad, then he and Sidney start to play a little pretend one-on-one. Radar sees them out the door of the Swamp and calls Klinger over to see it. Klinger says that it's no wonder he couldn't get a Section Eight: 'In this outfit, you wanna be crazy, you gotta stand in line!'

Epilogue: A few days later, Klinger, wearing a pink dress, congratulates Hawkeye on his 'act.' He says he's kicking himself for not thinking of it sooner. He calls it subtle, artistic, and he doesn't have to worry about 'the fickle whims of fashion.' Hawk then says that he would miss the 'warm, lingering looks that follow you constantly.' When Klinger asks if it is an act, Hawkeye does a Napoleon impression by putting his hand inside his shirt and saying, 'Mais oui, Josephine, I'm as sane as you.'
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