Season 4 Episode 5

Hey, Doc

Aired Unknown Oct 10, 1975 on CBS

Episode Recap

The big winner of another all-night poker game is Sgt. Kimble of the motor pool, who is being discharged after 30 years in the Army. He tells Hawkeye and BJ that he has a condition that makes his ears hurt when he flies. He would rather go on a boat because he is taking things back with him to start a Korean restaurant back home and he asks  the doctors to sign a form stating that he can't fly. Things is they need three doctors to sign and they can't ask Potter because of his integrity and Frank is a jackass. Later, as Klinger and Radar shower, Father Mulcahy comes and says that snipers were spotted near camp. They say it's a rumor, but just then, shots come close to the shower. Col. Potter asks for help and a British unit comes in to patrol. The commander, Lt. Chivers, talks to Hawkeye and BJ about an ingrown toenail that he has. The British are sticklers for foot hygiene; he might have trouble if it is found out. Hawk and Beej say they can help for two bottles of scotch. However, they find out that a microscope has been stolen. Potter comes in and tells Hawkeye that a tank commander, Col. Griswold, wants to visit one of his men that Hawkeye worked on. While in post-op, Margaret swoons over Griswold and Frank tries to make his role bigger than it is. After they leave, Griswold tells Hawkeye the real reason for his visit: to get a shot of penicillin because he contracted a social disease and he didn't want to use an Army hospital. Hawkeye says that it was good that he didn't go to a local doctor, that they would only use placebo drugs. BJ goes to Kimble and says that he will get his medical waiver signed if Kimble can get a new microscope. Hawkeye gives Griswold the shot and guarantees that no one will know. As he leaves, more sniper fire hits the camp. Everyone ducks for cover, but Griswold just drives off in his jeep. Later, Hawkeye and BJ find Frank playing gin with Margaret in her tent. They ask him to sign the waiver for Kimble, but he refuses and Hawkeye gets angry. As they leave the tent, Lt. Chivers arrives and makes payment for his toe. However, after he leaves, more sniper fire hits and Hawkeye drops both bottles of scotch; they both wind up shot. They run into Potter's office and show him what happened; he says that if they could get a tank to park in camp, it would scare away the snipers. Hawkeye calls Griswold and gets him to give them a tank by saying that the 'records' of his visit are in jeopardy. When it comes, Griswold says that they can have it for 24 hours; when Hawkeye says that the 'records' were destroyed, Griswold says that they can have it for a week. The next day, there's another poker game in the Swamp, and all is quiet on the sniper front. Frank tells Margaret that he trained in a tank for a week at Fort Benning and that he knows how to run one. He climbs in and tries to run it, but it's obvious he doesn't know how. It runs over most everything in its path, including the showers, the Swamp (scattering the poker game) and Potter's jeep when he tries to get Frank to stop. Potter then shoots the flattened jeep like he would a broken down horse. Finally, Frank stops the tank, and when he gets out, everyone applauds, then throws things at him. Later, a dazed Frank sits by the tank and Margaret comforts him. When Potter asks what happened, Hawkeye and BJ say the tank started by itself and Frank jumped in to stop it. Potter buys it and when Margaret asks why, they give Frank Kimble's waiver and imply that they will tell Potter the truth if he doesn't sign; he does and they leave.

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