Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly (Season 1-8)
Major Charles Emerson Winchester III (Season 6-11)
Colonel Sherman T. Potter (Season 4-11)
Corporal/Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger
Major Margaret J. "Hot Lips" Houlihan
B.J.'s friend, Leo Bardonaro, supposedly left his hat in Tokyo. Then how does he have it on when Hawk and B.J. return BACK to their tent??
(Some MPs have arrived for BJ on orders from General Fox)
Potter: Supposedly, ten days ago in Seoul, the general was staying at the Grand Hotel.
Radar: Yeah, the Grand Central Hotel.
Potter: In the next room, you were throwing a wild party, loud music with a bunch of bimbos.
Hawkeye: I thought we were friends. Why wasn't I invited?
BJ: You? I wasn't even invited.
Potter: Then you went out on the balcony and barbequed steaks.
Radar: Teriyaki steaks on a hibachi.
Potter: Radar, were you listening on the other phone?
Radar: ... A little.
Potter: Well, the general's room filled with smoke, somebody yelled fire, and forced the general and his secretary to run into the hallway naked.
Potter: He, uh, was dictating to her... uh, in the bathtub.
Hawkeye: Oh sure, and chickens have piorea.
(Colonel Potter falls down and B.J. and Hawkeye help him up)
Potter: Did I fall down?
Hawkeye: (laughing) No.
Potter: I didn't think so.
Margaret: But I must get to Tokyo, I must see Donald!
Potter: No, I can't spare you.
Margaret: Three days!
Margaret: Colonel, may I be clinical?
Margaret: It's important for Donald's morale, and personal well-being. You see, Donald is a man, and, you know how men are. Well, you've been away from Mrs. Potter a long time, surely you must feel...yearnings.
Potter: Yes, she does make a hell of a raisin cupcake.
Margaret: You've forgotten what it's like to be young!
Potter: Listen, Missy, I don't take those cold showers just 'cause I'm dirty!
Margaret: Colonel, I'm begging you!
Potter: I sympathise with you, Major. Your Colonel Penobscot is away from the one he loves. So tell him to take two laps around Tokyo. Preferably, in a cold rain!
B.J.: Oh. Oh, Hawkeye, the tent is spinning around.
Hawkeye: Which way?
Hawkeye: Mine's going counter-clockwise; maybe together we're sober.
Potter: Come in.
B.J.: Well, look who's back!
Potter: How was Tokyo?
Hawkeye: Never mind Tokyo, how's Donald?
Margaret: Oh, he's in wonderful shape. He's so relaxed now.
Potter: Good. Is that a jug?
(Margaret hands him a wrapped bottle)
Margaret: Thank you for giving me leave.
Potter: Thank you.
Margaret: Well. If you'll excuse me, I have some things to rinse out.
Hawkeye: Would you do my underwear?
B.J.: And my socks?
Margaret: Ha, ha, ha. Another time, Captains.
B.J.: Didn't even get a rise out of her.
Hawkeye: She's no fun when Donald's relaxed.
Colonel Potter: A naked general still outranks a dressed wound.
Hawkeye: (trying to prevent B.J.'s arrest) All right, no more fooling around. Let's get down to some serious bribery. How about fourteen dollars in unmarked bills?
Father Mulcahy: Anything I can do?
Colonel Pottter: Pray!
Father Mulcahy: Oh, that's all I ever get to do.
B.J.: Oh, he'll be walking back here in an hour.
B.J.: Yeah, the only thing gassed up in that jeep was us!
John Ashton later appeared in Midnight Run (as bounty hunter Marvin Dorfler) and Sergeant Taggart in the first two Beverly Hills Cop movies.
Winchester does not appear in this episode.
B.J.: This whole thing is so stupid!
Hawkeye: That's exactly what Dreyfus said.
Hawkeye is referring to Albert Dreyfus (1859-1935), a French officer convicted of treason. After years of imprisonment on Devil's Island, he was finally exonerated when it was proved that he had been the victim of an anti-Semite conspiracy.
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