Season 6 Episode 24

Major Topper

Aired Unknown Mar 27, 1978 on CBS

Episode Recap

In another OR session, Potter laments their patients having so many broken bones. They are Marines who had an accident in their troop truck coming back from a battle. When BJ comments on having to do a difficult surgery, Charles snidely offers to help. He then starts bragging about all the difficult procedures he's done. In the mess tent, Klinger is helped by a new corporal named Miller who pretends his ladle is a microphone and jokes with Potter and Mulcahy. Klinger is angry that he's trying to get out on the same dodge Klinger is. Hawkeye and BJ share tall tales of local people and their drinking prowess but Charles tops them again. Miller tries to 'interview' people in the tent, so everyone thinks he's Klinger's protégé. In post-op, the morphine is almost out. They are down to one box but it turns out to be contaminated. When Potter finds out, he tells Radar to get more. Later, Klinger finds out Miller is still using the ladle, this time as a movie camera. Klinger tells him to cool the act. However, he says good night to his shoe and sock. The doctors try and figure out what to do without morphine. Charles questions why they condemning it over the reaction of one patient. Potter tells them a story about a doctor in Hannibal who treated his aunt with a migraine with placebo pills. The doctor had her convinced that they would work so they did. Potter suggests that they use sugar pills as placebos and really sell it. He says the body can do amazing things if the mind will let it. Charles refuses but BJ says they are all in it together. BJ and Hawkeye get a corpsman out of the room and fill fifty capsule with sugar. Hawk takes one for luck. Father Mulcahy comes in and offers to help because Potter told him what was happening. Outside, Miller is relieved by Klinger, but he says he hears enemy gliders overhead and shoots his rifle in the air. Klinger tells Miller he'd give him a Section Eight if they gave it to him. Potter reiterates to the doctors, Margaret and the Padre that they have to really believe the sugar pills will help the patients. The doctors all tell them they are taking potent pills that will help them sleep. Charles tries his best but it does not seem to be helping. He stays in post-op believing it isn't working but Radar shows him that many of them are asleep. One needs another and a third does not feel any more pain. In the mess tent, they say about it worked on about half the patients. Potter thanks the doctors for their part. They are all amazed but Charles tops them again. Klinger tells Potter about Miller, saying he's in the field trying to find the pilots of the gliders. Potter first thinks Klinger is jealous, then he thinks they are working together. Miller comes in with two prisoners(of course, they are invisible). When they 'get away,' he shoots his rifle at them. Potter says to 'bulldog' Miller when he runs out of ammo while he gets paperwork going to get him out of the camp. Hawk and Beej swap stories about women in their lives, but Charles claims to have dated Audrey Hepburn. They call him on it, and he produces from his wallet a picture of them together. Later, Klinger brings a package for Potter. It's from Miller, with a toy sock he 'invented' in camp. The letter says that 50,000 have been sold. He also asks for help in trying to reproduce the glider he shot down and asks if the Colonel has photographs of the one he 'shot' down to make a toy out of it.