M*A*S*H

Season 8 Episode 9

Mr. and Mrs. Who?

3
Aired Unknown Nov 12, 1979 on CBS

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  • Quotes

    • (Final scene - everyone here is completely plastered)
      Hawkeye: We are gathered here in conclave met ... (Klinger hiccups) ... thank you ... for two reasons: one, to celebrate Corporal Shaw's first night out [from surviving hemorrhagic fever] (cheers from group) and, b, to officially dissolve the ersatz marriage of Mr. and Mrs. "Chuck" Winchester.
      Charles: Cuddles, cuddles ... cuddles ...
      Hawkeye: Father, I realize that ... that this ceremony will not ... will not be in line with the basic tenants of your religion.
      Potter: I di ... didn't know te-tennis was a re-religion.
      Mulcahy: No ecclesiastical conflicts, Hawkeye; the bartender who married them was a druid!
      Hawkeye: Father, if you'll just get ready to play "So Long, It's Been Good To Know You". Is the flower girl, ready?
      Margaret: Absolutely! A bouquet of four roses!
      Hawkeye: And, now, to perform the ceremony, the Ir-reverend J.B. Honeydew!
      (B.J. staggers in front of the "Winchesters" with a comic book in hands)
      B.J.: Hit it, Father. (Mulcahy starts playing the piano) Do you, Chuck Emerson Winchester III, take this lovely if gullible young woman as your un-lawful, un-wedded un-wife?
      Charles: I un-do.
      B.J.: And do you, Donna Marie Parker Winchester III, take this pickled amnesiac as your un-lawful, un-wedded, un-hubby?
      Donna Marie: I un-do, too.
      B.J.: Then by the power invested in me, by the state of intoxication, I hereby pronounce you man and woman. You may now ignore the bride.

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