M*A*S*H

Season 8 Episode 9

Mr. and Mrs. Who?

3
Aired Unknown Nov 12, 1979 on CBS

Trivia

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  • Quotes

    • (Col. Potter is briefing the medical staff on Korean hemorrhagic fever)
      Col .Potter: About the only thing they (I Corp) do know for sure is that 10 to 20% of the people who get it are gonna die. Surgeon General's office calls that figure "significant." My choice would be "appalling." And they've sent us a change in the prescribed treatment of patients in phase three.
      Hawkeye: Good timing. We've got Shaw in there warming up for phase three right now.
      Margaret: Just to refresh everybody's memories, Colonel, if I may, phase three is characterized by abnormally high urinary output, delirium, sometimes coma...
      Col. Potter: Thank you, Major.
      Margaret: .... and severe loss of appetite...
      Col. Potter: Thank you again, Major.
      BJ: Colonel, what do they want us to do for Shaw?
      Col. Potter: Well, as soon as his kidneys get back to work, the latest word is no intravenous salt solution.
      Hawkeye: (dumbfounded) NO I.V. SALINE?! What are we supposed to give them, hot chocolate?
      BJ: Colonel, these kids are gonna be putting out huge amounts of fluids. They're gonna be losing sodium by the pound.
      Col. Potter: I know that, Hunnicutt, along with potassium chloride and everything but their socks. Are you getting any of this, Winchester?
      Charles: (suffering from a hangover) Hanging on every sock, sir.
      Margaret: Nonetheless, the directive is very specific. The procedure of using an I.V. solution of five percent salt is discontinued.
      Col. Potter: Has to be. These kids can't handle it. In many cases, fluids just fill up the lungs and the boys literally drown internally.
      Hawkeye: (sarcastic and upset) Now all we need is a cure for the cure.
      Col. Potter: According to HQ, it's no saline. Let the disease run its course.
      Hawkeye: So what do we do? Just stand around like this, like dummies and do nothing?
      Charles: Surely, Colonel, there is something we can do. We are physicians, not spectators.
      BJ: Colonel, does that say no saline at all?
      Col. Potter: That's right-- "at all."
      BJ: I'd put that under the heading of overcompensation.
      Hawkeye: Well, you know the army, Beej. A ton of prevention for an ounce of cure.
      Col. Potter: Call it what you want. I think they mean it, Pierce. "Failure to follow the procedure in this directive will be treated as a court-martial offense and can result in automatic loss of rank and pay, and dishonorable discharge." Comprende?
      Hawkeye: Ohhhhh.
      BJ: Army's going soft. They left out the rack and thumbscrews.

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