Season 9 Episode 13

No Laughing Matter

Aired Unknown Feb 16, 1981 on CBS

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  • No Laughing Matter

    BJ counts the number of jokes Hawkeye makes in one conversation, and implies it is because he is insecure, which Hawkeye of course denies, and bets that he can go a whole day without telling a single joke. Meanwhile, Potter receives news that Colonel Baldwin, the man responsible for sending Winchester to the 4077th in the first place, is coming to the unit. He breaks the news to Winchester, who immediately plans to get even, but Klinger tells him if he kisses up to Baldwin, he may return to Tokyo, stating, "If you want to grow a rose, you have to spread some manure." Charles treats this suggestion with contempt , but when Baldwin arrives, he surprises everyone by taking Klinger's advice and treating the Colonel like a king, going so far as to play Cribbage with him and losing on purpose to remove the Colonel's debt. At length Baldwin asks Winchester to do him a favor, find a business girl to spend the night with him. While Winchester looks for one, Margaret delivers some papers to Baldwin, But the latter assumes she is the woman Charles sent and makes a move on her. In a fury, she marches to Charles and calls him him a "Procurer." and runs of to runs off to tell Colonel Potter. Hawkeye and BJ watch the interaction take place and Hawkeye, who has refrained from joking thus far, is in agony over not remarking on the hilarious circumstances. Baldwin appears and promises to transfer Charles back to Tokyo, if he lies and gives testimony that Margaret was trying to seduce Baldwin for a promotion. When Potter arrives, Charles is reluctant at first, but refuses to lie and ruin Margaret's career. Colonel Baldwin leaves, and Hawkeye sneaks into the main office and announces on the PA system that it is officially midnight, thus he has won the bet and tells the jokes he has been holding in all day. the episode closes as Charles morns the fact that he didn't return to Tokyo, but Margaret Thanks him for standing up for her and sticking to what was right. Charles agrees and says,"Well, I'll certainly never do that again."
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