(Hawkeye, Margaret, and Father Mulcahy walk into Col.Potter's office)
Margaret: You wanted to see us, sir?
Colonel Potter: Not really, but it was the only way I could talk to you.
Hawkeye: What's this about, Colonel?
Colonel Potter: Glad you asked. I'm a very busy man, so I'll make this short and sweet. Lt. Harris droped by earlier, had a little surprise for me: a request for an immediate transfer.
Father Mulcahy: Oh dear.
Colonel Potter: Naturally, I thought she wanted out because she couldn't take a bath, but that wasn't the reason. So I said "what is the reason?" She said "I made a damn fool of myself, and the whole camp knows it." I said "well I don't know it" and she said "I'm surprised Pierce didn't tell you."
Colonel Potter: So I said "why are you dropping this in my lap. You should be talking to your head nurse." And she said "the head nurse hates me!"
Margaret: I DO NOT HATE HER!
Colonel Potter: So I said "back up a bit. What is it you did that's got everybody's tongue wagging except mine?" She said "I had an unhappy love affair." So I said "was it one of my doctors?" And she said "no, it was your Priest!!!"
Father Mulcahy: Colonel, you must understand, she's very upset.
Colonel Potter: That's what she said. She's so upset, she's giving up on med school. I didn't even know she was going to med school!
Father Mulcahy: She musn't give up.
Colonel Potter: Now look folks, this is none of my affair, why don't keep it that way. The woman's only got a few weeks left in this man's army, a transfer would be a waste of good red tape. So here's what you're gonna do. (points at Hawkeye) You stop talking about her! (points at Margaret) You stop hating her! (points at Father Mulcahy) And you stop dating her!
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