M*A*S*H Season 3 Episode 5

(Henry shows Hawkeye a patient that is very bad)
Henry: Look at this.
Hawkeye: Oh, God.
Henry: It's at least eight hours work.
Hawkeye: His liver's gone.
Henry: There's a dozen kids outside that can be saved. He'll take two surgeons and who knows how many units of blood. And what's worse, he'll never make it.
Hawkeye: And meanwhile, we may lose some of the others.
Henry: Pierce, I have a lot of trouble with this kind of decision.
Hawkeye: Henry, he should never have been brought in here in the first place.

Hawkeye: Sidney, where are you running?
Trapper: Scrub up.
Sidney: Are you kidding? I haven't washed my hands since I became a psychiatrist!
Hawkeye: Only his mind gets dirty.

Sidney: Klinger, there's seventeen other guys wearing dresses ahead of you. And some smart stuff.

Klinger: Remember me, sir? Corporal Klinger?
Sidney: Remember you? I had to buy an extra cabinet for your file.

PA Announcement: Armed Forces Radio reports that General Mark W. Clark has just been appointed Commander of the UN forces in Korea. General Clark succeeds General Ridgeway, who succeeded General MacArthur. And that's the news, generally speaking. No one's succeeding us, at all.

Sidney: as he prepares to leave the OR Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

Hawkeye: You didn't get home last night, where were you?
Trapper: There's ten bucks for anyone who can tell me.
Nurse: You certainly were feeling no pain at the Club.
Hawkeye: Why do you say that, just because he tried to eat the cherries out of a slot machine?

Radar: We're running out of gowns, towels and three-oh silk. The only thing we've got plenty of is wounded.

Sidney: Some patients insist on dying, Hawk. You knew that going in. But you had to be a doctor.
Hawkeye: I never had any choice, it's all ever I cared about, all I ever wanted to do. Sometimes I think I'd be more useful as a cocktail waitress.
Sidney: You haven't got the legs for it.

Radar: (seeing one of Henry's patients) Whoa.
Henry: See what happens when you play with guns?

Radar: Klinger, get over to the mess tent, all the guys are giving blood.
Klinger: (imitating Bela Lugosi) Blood! I must give blood...or die!

Henry: Klinger, take that dress off at once!
Hawkeye: Not in front of Trapper, he's a married man.