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M*A*S*H

Season 4 Episode 11

Of Moose and Men

2
Aired Unknown Nov 21, 1975 on CBS

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  • Quotes

    • Colonel Spiker: That officer...Pierce! An oddball. Must make an example of him.
      Colonel Potter: He already is, a fine example of an oddball officer. The best!
      Colonel Spiker: Has no respect for the uniform.
      Colonel Potter: Well, he's never in it anyway.
      Colonel Spiker: No respect for authority...no respect for the war.
      Colonel Potter: Whoa, Colonel, whoa.
      Colonel Spiker: I demand disciplinary action against him. If you don't take it, I will.
      Colonel Potter: You? You're only a bunch of tubes running in and out. You have to go to the latrine by remote control. You're a sick man.
      Colonel Spiker: Aahh...
      Colonel Potter: You'd be napping in a mattress cover over at the morgue if it wasn't for Pierce working on you.
      Colonel Spiker: Hmm? (infuriated) He operated? Not you?
      Colonel Potter: Lucky for you, yes!
      Colonel Spiker: But the last thing I said...
      Colonel Potter: (reprimanding tone) Would've been the last thing you ever said. If Pierce wasn't your surgeon, you'd be a bag of cold cuts now. Jumpin' jodhpurs, man! I'm Regular Army, too - hash marks down to the ground! I started in the cavalry. Learned to look at life from the top of a horse. Well, sometimes I feel I'm still on a horse, only now I'm looking down at a horse's...
      Colonel Spiker: I'm not criticizing your command, Colonel. It's that...that goof-off!
      Colonel Potter: That goof-off saved your can. You're alive and kicking, kicking like an Army mule because of that man's skill and dedication as a surgeon. Sufferin' saddle soap! You owe your life to that man!

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