Season 3 Episode 22


Aired Unknown Mar 04, 1975 on CBS

Episode Recap

It's payday at the 4077th, and Hawkeye is the officer responsible for distributing it. He gets Radar to calm everyone down. Radar gives him the usual Army regulations that he as pay officer is responsible for any overages or underages. Then he goes off to give the pay to each officer as Hawkeye gives the enlisted men and nurses their pay. Father Mulcahy sets up a rummage sale for the orphanage. Frank prevents Klinger from getting his pay because he is not in uniform. Henry is in surgery when he gets his, and Trapper is in the weekly poker game. Klinger does get his pay, despite the fact he is in a Salvation Army uniform(Frank did not say what uniform). After everyone gets their pay, there is ten dollars over. Hawkeye wants to keep it, but Radar says that he must fill out a form. Hawkeye then says that he would have made $3000 back home had he not been drafted and that he wants compensation for the time missed at his practice. Radar writes it all down. Frank is visited by Quoc, the local merchant, who has his wares in a baby buggy. He sells Frank two strings of pearls, a real set for $500, and an imitation set for $50. Trapper is down $500 at the poker game as Mulcahy sits in. Quoc tries to sell another set of pearls to Margaret and he tells her that Frank bought his last set of imitation ones as well as real ones. Later, as Hawkeye tries to make time with Nurse Baker, Radar gives him $3010, which is the 'compensation' Hawkeye wanted. He doesn't want to keep it, but Radar insists. Henry goes through his pay, and Klinger comes in, and gives him three months pay as a bribe to discharge him on a Section Eight. Frank gives Margaret the imitation pearls, not knowing that Margaret knows they are fake. She tells him that if you run your teeth over them, that they real ones are rough, and the fake ones are smooth. Meanwhile, at the poker game, Henry comes in and Mulcahy leaves. Quoc comes in to try and sell the officers a hot diamond. At the O Club, Hawkeye is still with Baker, and Mulcahy plays the piano. Hawkeye gives him the $3010 for the orphanage. Later, Margaret goes to the shower. Frank walks with her and she says that real pearls have a luster against wet skin. She also says that she will take them off when she gets in. He sneaks in and switches the fakes with the real ones. Trapper finds him and asks to borrow $75. They go in the Swamp where they interrupt Hawkeye and Baker making whoopee. Trapper asks Hawkeye for a loan because he has a winning hand. He refuses because he usually loses. Trapper steals Hawkeye's watch as he isn't looking. They leave, but Radar comes in with a Captain Sloan from HQ; this makes Baker leave. Sloan wants to arrest Hawkeye for trying to steal the $3000. Radar gets Mulcahy and he says that the money went to the orphanage. Sloan, Hawkeye, and Radar go to find Henry; they get to the poker game just as Trapper wins a huge pot with four tens. He won about $3000 dollars and tells Hawkeye he used his watch to win. Hawkeye takes Trapper's winnings so he can pay Sloan and avoid arrest; he says that Trap would not have won the hand if he hadn't stole the watch. Later, Hawk and Trap play cards for free while Frank runs the fake pearls over his teeth.