Season 5 Episode 6

The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan

Aired Unknown Oct 26, 1976 on CBS

Episode Recap

Part One: After checking on patients and fending off the flirtations of a wounded soldier, Margaret leaves post-op after her shift. Klinger accompanies her to her tent and tells her that escaped North Korean prisoners are loose in the area. They then spot a Korean girl who tells Margaret that her pregnant mother is in labor and needs help. She gets her gear and leaves, despite Klinger's warnings not to. She says she will be all right and Klinger goes back to sentry duty until his relief arrives, then he goes back to his tent and collapses on his bed. The next morning, Potter sees Margaret's patient but can't read her handwriting for the last time he had morphine, so he has Radar look for her. He goes into the Swamp, where Hawkeye is indulging in a basketball fantasy. Radar asks Hawkeye, then BJ, who comes in from the shower, if they have seen Margaret and they say no. Frank yells at them to be quiet because he's sleeping, then yells at Radar for being in an officer's tent. Radar says that it's like she disappeared, and Frank gets concerned. He gets dressed and insists that someone go look for her. Radar then goes in Klinger's tent, but he's still asleep and is of no help. Groggy, he says that Margaret's having a baby. In the Swamp, Frank says that he's going to look for Margaret. He gets his gun out and BJ tells him to put it away. Hawkeye, in the shower, hears a gunshot and comes back to find that Frank shot BJ accidentally; he was cleaning it and it went off, the bullet ricocheting off a foot locker. Hawkeye finds that the bullet grazed BJ, but he needs stitches. Frank asks them not to tell Potter, and Hawkeye says he won't, but he does anyway. After Frank explains what happened, he asks Potter to go out to look for Margaret, and he refuses. Potter then asks Radar about Margaret, and he says he's asked everyone from A(Able) to Z(Zale) and no one's seen her. He also says he's looked everywhere except the nurses showers, but when Potter says he should look there, he gets all nervous and says that 'nud-d-it-ity' makes him breath funny. He asks Potter if Hawkeye can go in and Potter says that he'd never leave. Radar then goes in, but the only one there is Nurse Baker. She gets upset and tells him that Margaret isn't there and to leave. Meanwhile, Margaret is helping the pregnant Korean woman to breathe and finds that the cord is around the baby's neck. She moves it and calms the mother down. In Potter's office, he and Hawkeye discuss Frank and his mental state when Radar comes in to tell about his looking in the nurses showers. Potter tells him to call the MP's. As he leaves, he hits Frank, who's coming in, in the face with the door. He says he's still worried about Margaret, then Radar says that the MP's haven't seen her, so Potter says to call military intelligence.

Part Two: Radar is telling his friend Sparky at I-Corps about Margaret when Col. Flagg comes in in disguise. Radar knows it's Flagg, and when he asks Radar how he knew, Radar says it's because he knows Flagg is a master of disguise. He barges into Potter's office and Potter also knows it's him. Potter fills Flagg in on Margaret's disappearance, and he says he will poke around camp. He goes into the Swamp and gives Hawkeye and BJ a hard time about their sarcasm. Then he takes Frank's magazine away and accuses him of being the prime subject in Margaret's disappearance. Hawkeye and BJ then give a humorous theory about how Frank did it, which include disguising her as showgirl at the Sands hotel in Las Vegas, doing two shows a night and three on Saturdays. Flagg says that the only flaw in the theory is that they don't do three shows Saturdays because he was a showgirl for six weeks. Radar then asks Potter to help him do the birthing s for Korean women that he usually does with Margaret. Potter agrees and compliments Klinger on his dress. Potter does the lecture with a Korean translator as Radar plays the part of a woman in labor. Potter uses Radar's teddy bear as a baby and at the end says, 'Congratulations, Mrs. O'Reilly, it's a bear.' In Potter's office, Flagg is sitting at his desk while Hawkeye, BJ, and Frank wait with him. When Potter and Radar get back from the Potter asks if he's making himself at home and Flagg says he has no home, he's the wind. Flagg then tells Potter that he thinks the Chinese have Margaret. He wants a platoon of Army Rangers to do a search-and-destroy mission and asks Radar to get a Navy boat for offshore artillery. He also asks Radar for a box of scorpions which he says is a gift for a friend. Meanwhile, Margaret comes back with the new baby and the mother. She gives the baby to Klinger and heads for Potter's office. Flagg says he wants the 315th Air Division also. BJ and Hawkeye get up to leave just as Margaret comes in. They all are surprised to see her and she asks if Klinger told them about her leaving. Potter tells Radar to cancel the mission and he says he already did. Flagg then has everyone close their eyes so that he can leave; he says it's his trademark and he won't go until they do. Then he yells and glass shatters. They all open their eyes, Hawkeye sees that the window is broken, looks out and says, 'The wind just broke its leg.'

Epilogue: During a game of chess in the Swamp, Hawkeye insists he saw Flagg as a showgirl at the Sands(third one from the left). BJ asks what gave him away, and Hawkeye says he was the only showgirl carrying a machine gun. He starts singing 'A Pretty Girl Is Like A Melody' and uses a golf club to shoot everyone. BJ then checkmates him.
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