Captain BJ Hunnicut
Colonel Sherman T. Potter
Major Franklin Delano Marion Burns
Major Margaret J. "Hot Lips" Houlihan
Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly
Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger
Father Mulcahy calls Hawkeye a "good Christian" in this episode (for flushing out the horse), but in Season 4's "Dear Peggy", he refers to Hawkeye as a "crazy agnostic" in a conversation with B.J.
Goof: When Radar is trying to reach BJ's father-in-law on the phone, he spells his last name, Hayden, "H-A-Y, D-E-N," and Hawkeye sings, "M-O-U-S-E," the theme song from The Mickey Mouse Club television show. This is an anachronism - the Korean War was fought from 1950 to 1953, but the Mickey Mouse Club didn't appear on TV until 1955, so the song hadn't yet been written.
(B.J. gets off the phone.)
B.J.: Too much dry grass and not enough water. She's got colic.
Radar: Oh, that's serious!
B.J.: Pa says it could kill her.
Hawkeye: So, what do we do?
B.J.: Well, her intestines are blocked. We gotta keep her on her feet so they don't twist. And...we gotta clean her out. Lots and lots of warm water.
Hawkeye: I think I'll stroll up to the front line and see how the shooting's going!
(B.J. is talking to his father-in-law on the phone)
B.J.: Hello, Pa? Hi, it's B.J.! No, I'm not at the bus station, I'm still in Korea...No, we're not still fighting the Germans, Pa. That was your war!
Radar: Oh, hell!
Radar: You heard me! H-E-double toothpicks!
(Frank finishes with his patient before Hawkeye and Margaret finish theirs)
Frank: Ha ha! I finished first.
Hawkeye: And my nurse can beat up your nurse.
BJ: Your nurse could beat up him.
(Hawkeye and BJ are trying to get Col. Potter to take Frank to Tokyo)
Potter: Look, what this boils down to is who gets stuck with Burns.
Potter: Now, if you were in command, what would you do?
Hawkeye: I'd take him to Tokyo.
Potter: That's why you're not in command. Dissmissed.
(Margaret is getting her appendix removed by Hawkeye and BJ)
Frank: (entering the OR) Why wasn't I called?!
Frank: (angered) Well, I should be doing this surgery! I know Major Houlihan's appendix better than any of you!
Potter: Burns, she asked for Pierce.
Frank: I don't believe it!
Mulcahy: Great deal of conflict here.
Potter: (to Mulcahy) You said it, brother... uh, Father. (to Frank) Burns, she doesn't want you here.
Frank: I'm not leaving until I hear it from her own lips!
Margaret: Listen to these lips, Frank: Get out!
Frank: She's delirious.
(Potter pushes Frank out of the OR)
Frank: (to Margaret) I hope you have a big scar!
Margaret (whispering and in great pain) Hawkeye. Hawkeye!
Hawkeye (waking up, very groggy) Huh? Hmm?
Margaret: Pulse is rapid, temperature's up. I can't stand it anymore.
Hawkeye: I'm ready. Your tent, or my father's Chevy?
Margaret: (sighs) My appendix.
(Hawkeye hands a hose to BJ, indicating a water tank up on a scaffold)
Hawkeye: Hook this to the spigot up there.
BJ: It looks awful high.
Hawkeye: You want the other end?
BJ: (taking the hose) It's not so high.
Potter: Klinger? (Klinger moans) No pearls, no dress? How come you're out of uniform?
(Radar is placing an overseas call)
Radar: Hey, it's yesterday there.
Hawkeye: It's today here.
BJ: It's always today here.
Hawkeye: Oh yeah, what about tomorrow?
BJ: Good point.
Hawkeye: Aha, I wasn't born yesterday.
(talking about Frank)
BJ: Can't you do something?
Potter: Like sit him down, have a talk with him?
Hawkeye: No, like stand him up and have him shot.
Potter: Don't be absurd. There'd be an inquiry.
When calling his father-in-law for help with Sophie, B.J. says his name is Floyd Hayden and he lives in Quapaw, Oklahoma. Mike Farrell's real-life wife (at the time) Judy Farrell's actual maiden name is Hayden, and she was born in Quapaw in 1938.
Another interesting aspect of this episode is the fact that Margaret specifically asks for Hawkeye to perform her appendectomy rather than Frank. This can also be seen as a cooling off of her relationship with him.
This is one of the few times that Margaret calls Hawkeye by his nickname. She usually would either call him "Captain Pierce", "Pierce" or just plain "doctor".
Radar trades the film Gilda to Sparky for his placing a call to BJ's father-in-law in Oklahoma. However, it turns out the movie is not Gilda, but Ecstasy, a 1933 Czech film starring Hedy Lamarr. It was considered controversial because it was the first mainstream film to depict sexual intercourse, even though only the actors' faces were shown. It was not released in the United States until 1940.
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