Part One: Margaret makes several mistakes during an OR session. After it ends, she feels a twinge in her abdomen. Frank is concenred, but she says it's just indigestion from the chili the previous night. While everyone is changing clothes, Col. Potter comes in and says that he's going to Tokyo for a week's R & R. He says that Frank, as second in command, will be in charge. He leaves and Hawkeye and BJ follow him complaining about Frank's style of command. In the compound, Klinger, dressed in his nurse's outfit, asks the Colonel to have his wife buy some material for a new dress at Goldstein's on the Ginza. He wants three or four yards of red or blue but no aquamarine. Potter asks why and Hawkeye says it matches his skin color. In the office, Hawk and BJ say that Frank is an irritant. BJ suggests that Potter take Frank with him to Tokyo, but he refuses. Back in the changing roon, Margaret has another twinge. Frank asks if it is the chili, but Margarat tells him it's her appendix. He offers to probe it, but she says that it's not inflamed, only chronic, and that he may start giving in to his lusts. He insists he won't, and she lets him, only to try to embrace her. He offers to operate and she says no, but he pleads with her: 'Show me some consideration! Let me cut you open!' Potter visits his mare Sophie in her stall and tells Radar to take good care of her while he's gone. Later, in his tent, Margaret comes in to tell him about her appendix. The PA announces the winners of the Abbott and Costello lookalike contest: Klinger and a POW, who win a Norman Rockwell print clipped from the previous week's Saturday Evening Post. Margaret asks Potter to not let Frank, who usually handles the simple operations, do it and to have Hawkeye do it. After she leaves, the PA announces that Klinger will accept the prize by himself as the POW escaped. As he leaves, he asks Radar to get a book to read on the flight. Klinger then comes by in his regular uniform. He says that he's depressed and is not trying for a section eight anymore. Radar comes back with the book and congratulats Klinger on winning, but he says, 'Dummy up! and leaves. Hawkeye comes by and asks Potter to go to a newsstand across from Goldstein's and buy some nudist magazines for him. Potter says he can't go in in uniform, so Hawkeye tells him to ask his wife. Potter asks if Hawkeye has ever been to a nudist colony and he says only once, but he was shy and never had the nerve to 'put down my ukelele.' Potter then tells him about Margaret's appendix as he leaves. Hawkeye then goes to Margaret's tent to examine her before surgery, but his lecherous style has Margaret showing him where it hurts with a doll. Hawkeye even looks under the doll's skirt. Later, Radar goes to give Sophie a brushing and finds her laying on her back in her stall.
Part Two: Hawkeye and BJ are playing darts with syringes when Radar comes in telling them about Sophie. BJ gets a reluctant Hawkeye to go check her out. However, the doctors 'horsing around' angers Radar so much he says, 'Oh...hell!' He yells at them that they don't care. Hawkeye says that they don't know anything about horses. He suggests that Radar tell Potter, but he's afraid to. BJ then suggests calling his father-in-law Floyd in Oklahoma, who's an expert on animals. He asks Radar to patch a call through to him. Sparky at I-CORPS HQ won't do it, so Radar offers to send him the movie Gilda. Sparky accepts, and after going through Honolulu, Seattle, and Oklahoma City, they get through to Floyd. BJ tells him what's wrong with Sophie, and after a long conversation, including BJ asking him to call his wife, says that Sophie has colic, from too much dry grass and not enough water. They have to keep her on her feet so that her blocked intestines won't twist and clean her out with lots of warm water. Hawkeye has BJ hook up a water hose to the water tower. Hawkeye has Father Mulcahy pray for Sophie. A crowd gathers, including Nurse Kellye, so they get them to form a line to fill the tower with water. After it gets full, BJ turns on the spigot and Hawkeye handles the other end of the hose. After a while, Hawkeye tells them to stop the water and Sophie kicks the wall of her stall, indicating everything is okay.
Part Three: Several days later, Radar tells Sparky that the horse is okay. He asks how Gilda was, but he says that the box was mislabled and the movie was Ecstacy with Hedy Lamarr. He apologizes, but Sparky isn't mad because it had nudity in it. Radar asks when they will return it, but Sparky's rather reluctant. Just then the Colonel arrives back from Tokyo. He tells Radar that everything went well and to get some damp shorts out of his bag to prevent mildew. Potter asks about Sophie and he says she's clean as a whistle. When Potter gets in his office he finds Klinger laying on the desk. He is sitll depressed and says it's 'the end of life's highway.' Potter then gets out the form for a section eight, saying that depression is a ticket home. This makes Klinger sing and dance to 'Top Hat' before realizing that it cost him the section eight. This makes him really depressed, so Potter tells him that he got the material for his dress, the red. Potter then requests that he do the dance for the wounded in the red dress. Frank then comes in saying that Hawkeye committed six violations of military regulations. The first one was that he crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Frank. Potter says that he doesn't have to hear the others, that he will take the appropriate action--go to sleep. Frank leaves and Potter sticks his tounge out at him. Later, early in the morning, Margaret is in obvious pain as she goes to the Swamp. She wakes up Hawkeye to do the appendectomy and he wakes up BJ to be his 'gas passer.' However, Frank wakes up after they leave. Just before BJ puts Margaret out, she tries to tell Kellye how to do her job. Then Frank barges in demanding to do the operation. When Margaret insists he leave, he says she's delirious, so Potter forces him to leave as he screams 'I hope you have a big scar!' BJ tells Margaret to take a deep breath; when she says that she's supposed to say that, he tells her to shut up.
Epilogue: Hawkeye takes Margaret out for a walk so that she can get back on her feet. When she says thanks, he offers to probe her chassis every 1000 miles. Potter takes Sophie for a walk to do the same. When she whinnies, Hawkeye asks Margaret if she said something.