M*A*S*H

Season 5 Episode 20

The General's Practitioner

4
Aired Unknown Feb 15, 1977 on CBS
7.8
out of 10
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Episode Summary

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The General's Practitioner
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In the midst of Hawkeye being considered, much to his distaste, for the position of a general's personal physician, Radar becomes a surrogate father to a Korean woman and her baby, until the baby's GI father returns.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
    Alan Alda

    Alan Alda

    Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce

    Mike Farrell

    Mike Farrell

    Captain BJ Hunnicut

    Harry Morgan

    Harry Morgan

    Colonel Sherman T. Potter

    Loretta Swit

    Loretta Swit

    Major Margaret J. "Hot Lips" Houlihan

    Gary Burghoff

    Gary Burghoff

    Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly

    Larry Linville

    Larry Linville

    Major Franklin Delano Marion Burns

    Edward Binns

    Edward Binns

    General Korshack

    Guest Star

    Leonard Stone

    Leonard Stone

    Col. Bidwell

    Guest Star

    Susie Elene

    Susie Elene

    Mae Ping

    Guest Star

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Frank: I'd appreciate it, sir, if you'd send a letter to the General, outlining my qualifications.
        Potter: Good idea. (Pulls out a sheet of stationary) What are they?
        Frank: Well, I have a thriving practice back in Fort Wayne!
        Hawkeye: They're thriving 'cause Frank's not there.
        Frank: And a splendid war record!
        Hawkeye: Colonel, should you mention the time he dropped bubble gum in the patient?
        Potter: Bubble gum--good.
        Hawkeye: Or the time he sneezed and performed an accidental appendectomy?
        B.J.: Fainted in OR 27 times.
        Hawkeye: Threw up in Post Op, 12.
        B.J.: Overslept, 48.
        Frank: Oh, Colonel, you're not writing all that down, are you?
        Potter: I'm getting it all, it may help!
        Hawkeye: The hysterectomy on that Sergeant.
        B.J.: Oh, was he sore about that!
        Frank: Colonel!
        Hawkeye: Oh, let's not forget Major Houlihan.
        Potter: Oh, Major Houlihan, we shouldn't forget...

      • General Korshack: Seriously, where did you study?
        Hawkeye: I never studied seriously. If I hadn't cheated on the final exam and been a personal friend of the cadavers, I never would have graduated. And that was high school.

      • BJ: You're a good father, Radar.
        Radar: I'm not the father.
        BJ: I know. You're still a good father.

      • Hawkeye: Sometimes I get the feeling we're only a bunch of mechanics.
        Mulcahy: Mechanics?
        Hawkeye: Sure. Doctors fix people up so they can go on living. We fix them up so they can go back and get killed. We're running a body and fender shop at a demolition derby.

      • Potter: When it comes to death, Pierce is a sore loser.

      • Hawkeye: Don't let the bastard win!

      • Hawkeye: War isn't hell. War is war and hell is hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.
        Mulcahy: How do you figure that, Hawkeye?
        Hawkeye: Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to hell?
        Mulcahy: Sinners, I believe.
        Hawkeye: Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in hell. But war is chock full of them—little kids, cripples, old lades. In fact except for a few of the  brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.

      • Frank: So like you, Hunnicutt. Not a patriotic bone in your body.
        Hawkeye: No wonder the man flunked anatomy, he thinks there are patriotic bones!

    • NOTES (0)

    • ALLUSIONS (1)

      • B.J.'s comment that the baby is "Fit as a fiddle and ready for love" is a reference to the song Gene Kelly and Donald O'Conner sang in Singin' In The Rain.

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