Maj. Frank Burns takes full charge and gives the 4077th hell with his usual military regimen as the new CO (something he will soon be disappointed to learn is only temporary!); Lt. Col. Henry Blake having lost his life en route home. Capt. Hawkeye Pierce arrives back from 3 days R&R in Tokyo (by rickshaw!) and heads straight for the shower. Radar follows him in to break him the bad news: Capt. Trapper John MacIntyre had received his orders to ship home. Hawkeye wants to go to Seoul to bid his buddy farewell, but Frank refuses. When Radar gets in a jeep to go to Kimpo to collect a replacement doctor, Hawkeye insists on going along to try and catch Trapper before he goes Stateside, even going so far as to run a blockade. Meanwhile at the 4077th Frank and Hot Lips fawn as they look over the new man's record and envision shaping him into their image. Once at Kimpo, Radar goes off to find the new doctor, while Hawkeye tries to find his friend before he left for home, only to learn he is 10 minutes too late. When Hawkeye meets the new doctor, a Captain BJ Hunnicutt, he was very abrupt with greeting him, still angry that he had missed Trapper. With the introductions over they headed for the jeep only to find that it had been stolen!
So with no transport to get them back to the 4077th Hawkeye decides it's time to visit the officers club, with just one setback: Radar wasn't an officer, being a mere corporal. So Hawkeye borrows some of BJ's captains bars and gives him a field promotion to Corporal-Captain! When they emerge, they find a jeep (belonging to Major-General Cornell Dickering!) was waiting; it didn't matter that it wasn't theirs, to Hawkeye a jeep was a jeep, so they commandeer it to get back to the 4077th. On the way back, they encounter a farming family using their daughters to check for land mines to protect their cows. A land mine explodes, injuring one daughter, and Radar braves the field to pick her up and bring her to their jeep. Having taken her to the hospital, they continue on their way to the 4077th and blow a tire. A group of locals walks by, then suddenly disappears. Hawk, Beej and Radar barely change the tire and evacuate as a barrage of gunfire erupts. Presumably out of danger, they meet up with a group of G.I's, only to have shells rain immediately down upon them, and B.J. gets his first taste of war when they have to treat the wounded soldiers. As BJ tries to help the injured men, the physical gruesomeness of one dead soldier makes him physically sick. After a detour to Rosie's bar, they become so rip-roaring drunk that only Radar is able to drive them back to the 4077th. Back at camp, B.J falls out of the jeep, landing at Frank's feet with a drunken "What say ya, Ferret Face?" indicating that he, like Hawk and his predecessor, Trapper John, won't fulfill Maj. Burns and Houlihan's wishes. Furthermore, Frank gets picked up by the M.P.s for stealing the General's jeep when he shows lousy timing in using it.
The episode ends with the roster of the new cast of M*A*S*H and a "preview" of the arrival of Harry Morgan as Col. Sherman Potter in next week's episode.