Season 9 Episode 7

Your Retention Please

Aired Unknown Jan 05, 1981 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • In the scene in Col. Potter's office when he is discussing army careers with the senior staff, you can see the shadow of the boom mike (upper right hand corner on the office wall) when the camera focuses on just Major Houlihan and Father Mulcahy.

    • When Hawkeye reads Rizzo's name he reads it Rizzo, L, but in other episodes his name is Rizzo, Z.

    • Klinger attempts to get out of the Army for the last time.

  • Quotes

    • (Hawkeye is raging at Potter for swearing Klinger back into the army)
      Potter: Look, I had no choice. Klinger came in here all fired up and said that if I didn't swear him in, he'd drive to ICORPS and find someone who would.
      Potter: This difference is that I had a chance to hear those immortal words "I, Maxwell Klinger, being of sound mind, will faithfully execute the office of soldier, and will to the best of my ability preserve..."
      Hawkeye: Wait a minute, wait a minute. "Office of soldier?" That doesn't sound like the oath I took.
      Potter: That's because you've never been elected President to the US of A.
      Hawkeye: Huh?
      Potter: Klinger didn't say exactly what oath he wanted. I figured he wouldn't know the difference, and it bought us a little time.

    • (Hawkeye is trying to persuade Potter not to swear Klinger back into the army)
      Hawkeye: He was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing!
      Klinger: Sure I did. I was drinking.
      Hawkeye: Look, Vickers caught Klinger with his heart down. It would be criminal of you to swear him in. You just can't do it.
      Potter: Slow down, Pierce. The boy's not drunk now. Why don't we hear his thoughts about this?
      Klinger: Face it, I'm a poor kid off the streets. The only real experience I have is shuffling pool. But now I have a chance to rise through the army's ranks and make something of myself!
      Potter: Pretty sober thoughts, Pierce.
      Hawkeye: Come on, he's crazy! Only an idiot would ever reenlist in the army!
      Potter: (angry) I wonder if you can think of any exceptions to that rule. Take your time, I can wait, I'm going to be here a while yet. That's a hint, by the way.
      Hawkeye: Colonel, I...
      Potter: Pierce, I've had it up to here with you always putting a knock on the army! The military has produced some great men: George Washington, Andy Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt! And if Klinger wants to re-up, I'll be proud to swear him in!

    • Hawkeye: Do you have any idea what you did last night?
      Klinger: Last night? Last night. No, it's all one big blur.
      Hawkeye: That's great. That's great.
      Klinger: I must have passed out after I re-enlisted.
      Hawkeye: What?!
      Klinger: I said I passed out. Why do you think I was lying here?
      Hawkeye: No, no. You don't know what you did. You don't have any idea what you did. How could you?!
      Klinger: Oh, but I did. Give me some credit, Captain. I may be a rummy but I'm no dummy. The army provides you with a home and a career.
      Hawkeye: This from the man who built himself wings and tried to flap his way back to the US?

    • Potter: You blow one more kiss Pierce and those lips will never walk again.

    • Klinger: Just think. Even if I didn't know it, for a couple of hours there, I was the leader of the entire free world.

    • Klinger: I decided to write Gus..."Dear Scum"... I decided to start out slow and then really let him have it.

    • Klinger: Now the army is my best friend... I may get shot in the stomach... but I won't get stabbed in the back...

    • Colonel Potter: The army allows you to see the world.
      Hawkeye: A scenic tour of the world's battlefields.
      Colonel Potter: The army provides a home.
      Hawkeye: Where even the buffalo wouldn't roam.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • When Klinger tells Hawkeye that he (Klinger) has not sworn in yet to reenlist, Hawkeye yells, "Ah! Yes, Virginia! There is an escape clause!" He is alluding to the famous 1897 article "Yes Virgina, There Is a Santa Claus" written by F. P. Church for the New York Sun.

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