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Masters of Horror

Season 2 Episode 12

The Washingtonians

0
Aired Friday 12:00 AM Jan 26, 2007 on Showtime
SUBMIT REVIEW

Episode Fan Reviews (11)

6.9
out of 10
Average
65 votes
  • Who knew eating meat made you stupid?

    3.2
    The problem isn't the vague political commentary, which is pretty minimal. It's anti-meat message is stronger.

    The problem is there isn't really much to care about here. Mike and his family have minimal personality or background: anybody know what they do for a living or who they are? Why does Mike care so much about seeing the true history come out? Why is it more important to him then his family's safety? Who knows? Who cares?

    And isn't it convenient that Mike just happens to know Harkinson, apparently the only person who can perfectly explain the Washingtonians, wants to help, and knows who to contact to get a SWAT team to come in and shoot the bad guys.

    Part of the problem is that the director/writers don't know if they're aiming for suspense or comedy. Some of the early scenes with the Washingtonians, decapitating their victim, and outside Amy's window, are fairly creepy. Unfortunately, then the bad guys go blatantly over the top, pounding on the door and drooling around their wooden teeth. Why do these people go out in public dressed this way? How the heck do they maintain a secret society when they go out in public dressed like Revolutionary War soldiers every time someone finds a letter or a femur-fork?

    Stripped of Little's original ending, the conclusion doesn't make a lot of sense: how does Harkinson find the feasting lodge? If he knew where it was, why has he been waiting all this time to call down an attack on it? Harkinson is just a deus ex mechina for what's basically a shaggy dog joke. Oh well.
  • A good episode. Other reviewers are giving this one low marks simply because they dont like seeing people commenting on the current administration. This was not the purpose of the episode or the story is was based on.

    10
    Just for the record, The Washingtonians is based on a short story by Bentley Little. A short story that PREDATES the bush administration. Don't give this, or any other episode, a bad review just because you think its targeting the current administration. It is impossible that the original story, which this episode follows well, was commenting on George Bush. If you are seeing parrelels than its the fault of the current administration for creating a situation that ends up mimicking fiction. I enjoyed this episode a lot. Come on people, a cannibal washingtion. You should check out the original to.
  • probably my favorite episode

    9.5
    this is definetly one of my favorite episodes. theres just some kind of allure to it. i mean its got just a completely joke ending, an awesomely hilarious cameo by Saul Rubinek, people getting eaten, conspiracy... muwhahaha i loved it.

    -the rest is just filler-
    how come no one ever checks behind George Washington's picture? there is always something hidden behind it. what better way to store a secret then behind a painting.

    anyway there was some great acting by the creepy old guy Sam, hes just so great in horror tales. i think he may have been in an episode of tales from the crypt or somthing...
  • creepy

    9.5
    I thought the story about george washington being a cannibal was great. The episode was well written and shot very well. It had many creepy parts and visuals such as the art work and the flashback scenes. I had a fear of old people when i was little because I thought they wanted to eat me so this one really struck a nerve. This was my favourie episode of the second series and i hope they continue on in this direction. The rescue scene at the end was kind of stupid but other than that it was an original horror masterpiece.
  • huh?

    1.3
    this would have been bearable if not for the fact that the ending of the show was COMPLETELY different than the short story it was based on. i realize that it may have been a loose interpretation however, they sacrificed a truly great and darkly humorous ending in order to put in a jab at the government? this is why i don't watch this often. i just so happen to love Bentley Little. he would be ashamed. and if he gave them the go ahead to do this episode, i hope he is. ashamed, that is.
  • The best episode in a long time...

    9.9
    Masters of Horror has had more than its fair share of dodgy episodes this year but this episode was much more on horror form. The story was extremly predictable but it was still scary and intresting. The main plot was than George Washington the founder of the USA was infact a cannable and loved the taste of virgin flesh. This is quite a sick story to come up with but it was good i'll give the writer that.

    Anyway this man who moves into a new house finds a confession written by Washington saying how he liked to eat children and carve their bones into forks. Later as the episode progresses we find out that a group of present day washington worshipers are still eating people in the name of Washington, but the question becomes is it too late to stop these animals?
  • This is the real deal, the true story of George Washington. The real American hero. He use to eat some people but hey... if a man wants to eat a young virgin he should have the right to do it.

    2.4
    I can believe someone actually do this thing. Americans have no respect for the history of their country??? what about some respect for Washington?? he fight for the freedom right? What a shame... And the episode sucks anyway :s

    I can believe someone actually do this thing. Americans have no respect for the history of their country??? what about some respect for Washington?? he fight for the freedom right? What a shame... And the episode sucks anyway :s

    I can believe someone actually do this thing. Americans have no respect for the history of their country??? what about some respect for Washington?? he fight for the freedom right? What a shame... And the episode sucks anyway :s
  • A Founding Father Found Out...

    8.5
    I love the short stories of Bentley Little and one of my personal favorites was one called "The Washingtonians". It was an alternate reality tale of how George Washington is revealed to have been a cannibal and his (anything but wooden) teeth gnawed on more than just liberty. Not to mention the inner circle of his messed-up followers who also share in his perverse interest of cannibalism and murder-a secret kept from the public by historians who only told us what they choose to tell us.

    Unlike some of the negative reviews that I have read for this episode of Masters of Horror directed by Peter Medak (good guy nonetheless), I actually found this episode to be interesting. True, the dollar bill ending gag was a bit corny and maybe the original ending of the story would have worked better with another lunatic group of British Redcoats instead of the three-man S.W.A.T. team armed with automatic machine guns (both effective though the former would have surpassed their budget). Nevertheless, this adaption of Bentley Little's story was one of the better episodes of Masters of Horror's second season. Johnathon Schaech was good as the main actor as were all of the extras who played the notorious Washingtonians who are eventually brought down by gunfire (muskets and blunderbusses versus full automatics-ha, ain't gonna happen). Still, this episode was par of this season.
  • What if George Washington was a cannibal? Then again, what if this writer was sober?

    1.0
    Ah yes, this fine piece of mastery can only come from the writers of "Frogs" and "Gigli". You have got to be kidding me! A bunch of adults dressing up like the nation's father to eat children with wooden teeth, is the dumbest idea I have ever heard.. This was silly, tacky and just a waste of time. I'm sorry. The little girl was annoying and the characters flat. The terror was in parlor trick gore and growling men in wigs.

    I actually fell asleep to this episode, and so did the other people I asked about it. Horror is not supposed to lull you to sleep. Right?
  • I'm all for subversive fiction, in any media. The great question "What if . . ?" has resulted in many fine works of literature, movie and TV. This steaming pile is certainly not one of them.

    1.0
    Set aside the disrespect to George Washington and all that that entails. The idea is simply bad, plain and simple. When the end credits rolled, I got the impression that the sole purpose for the entire thing was to tell a joke, revealed when the portrait of Washington on the dollar bill is replaced by Bush. This type of story would only work well if done straight camp, or with sinister seriousness. The narrative treads the line between these two, and in doing so loses its way, quickly. The only bright spot was watching the alluring Venus Terzo, although she would have been better utilized in another MOH that perhaps required less clothing . . .
  • In the first season of MoH, "Homecoming" skewered the current administration. In this installment, Peter Medak picks up the slack. Prepare yourself: government cover-ups and scandals are nothing new.

    5.0
    *SPOILERS* OK, I get it: government is not completely forthcoming with the disclosure of its information. There are scandals, cover-ups, and misdirection which prevent the general populace from ever knowing the Fox Mulder definition of "truth". In this episode, time and propaganda have almost completely concealed the "facts" that George Washington was a cannibal, until our protagonists accidentally discover it, that is. Of course, they tell the wrong people of their discovery and things go sour, until the grand finale when Saul Rubinek (what?! the same guy who peed in his pants in "Unforgiven"?!?!) bursts in with the calvary, guns a-blazin'. A secret society of cannibals that stretches back to the American forefathers? Been there, done that: "Tales from the Crypt: Mournin' Mess" starring Steven Weber. It seems like the whole episode was 59 minutes of build-up just to get to the dollar-bill punchline at the end. Chalk this up as another instance of a director using MoH for a political soapbox (a la "Homecoming"). Too bad, cuz "The Changeling" is one of my favourite ghost stories.
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