Season 1 Episode 2

The Problem of the Missing Baseball

Aired Weekdays 5:00 PM Feb 02, 1987 on PBS



  • Quotes

    • George: (after Howie recovers his father's missing baseball) You're a lucky kid to have a real autograph from Babe Ruth.
      Howie: I'll say. A real baseball in a fake fireplace behind some fake logs, on top of some fake gold bricks.
      George: Fake gold bricks?
      Kate: Fake gold bricks?
      Sampson: Fake gold bricks?! So that's where he hid them.
      (George and Kate stare at him)
      Sampson: Uh-oh. All right. You got me. I stole the gold years ago. I spent some time in prison. That's all behind me now. So...
      Kate: So?
      Sampson: Can I go now?
      Kate: You're forgetting one thing, Sampson.
      Sampson: Yeah?
      Kate: We got you on a 484.
      Sampson: 484?
      Kate: Stealing a baseball.
      Howie: Why'd you steal my father's baseball, Mr. Sampson?
      Sampson: I didn't steal your father's baseball. I stole the house.
      George: Why did you steal the house?
      Sampson: It wasn't for sale, and I needed it.
      Kate: There are plenty of other houses in the Greater Los Angeles area. Why this one?
      Sampson: Well, it's like this. When I stole that gold, I had a partner. He got away, but also, he took the gold with him. And when I got out, I traced him here. He was living in this house when he got arrested for another crime. So, I knew he must've hidden the gold in this house.
      Kate: So you put the nab on the house to get the gold.
      Sampson: And it was here all the time. My partner built a fireplace out of gold bricks. Can you beat that? Should've known it, too.
      Kate: Oh?
      Sampson: He used to be a brick layer before he turned to a life of crime and corruption.
      George: Would you say that crime does not pay?
      Sampson: I sure would. Not the way I do it, anyway.