Bart Maverick substitutes a chest that is filled with just rocks for a fortune in gold to foil "Sheriff" Dan Trevor's robbery plans. But he's not the only one doing some switching.
Deacon Curt Eaker
Pappyism: (on the game of life) Most of us, by the time we're up on the rules, are generally too old to play it.
Pappyism: It's fine to turn over a new leaf - but there's always somebody tryin' to snoop through the old pages.
Conductor: I don't know how you snuck aboard my train in Kansas City, but you're gettin' off here.
Bart: But, Conductor, sir, if you'll just let me stay aboard until Denver, my cousin will meet me - he'll pay my full fare.
Conductor: Oh, travel now, pay later? (Bart smiles and begins to climb back aboard) That'll be the day. Don't be a simpleton, mister!
Bart (reading wanted poster for "Incredible Clay Corey"): I've got a hunch they'll catch that hombre before long
Trevor: Do you have a crystal ball, or do you read fortunes with cards?
Bart: Well, no, but I have lost a few fortunes with 'em.
Bull (Bart is staring at Bull's steak): You a meat inspector or somethin'?
Bart: Well, friend, I - I got carried away. You see, I had a … very light breakfast.
Bull: Ha! Now ain't that a shame? When I'm finished, you can have the bone.
Bart: I may be back.
(Bart is loading his plate with food)
Mrs. Amber: Why, you're a stranger.
Bart: I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
Deacon: You know, it disturbs me in this land of plenty to find a man financially embarrassed.
Bart: It bothers me too, Deacon.
Deacon: Well, the bitter with the tweet, I suppose. It's all part of the game of life
Bart: You own racehorses?
Deacon: Just a hobby, I assure you. All my winnings go to my favorite charity.
Bart: Well then, Deacon, we're not so far apart after all. You see, all of my winnings go to my favorite charity
Trevor: Well, my deadbeat friend. Didn't take you too long to track down the free grub, did it? Be lots more free grub in jail if I see you around here tomorrow night.
Bart: Your worries are over, Sheriff. I'll be leaving town in the morning - with the Deacon and Marybelle.
Trevor: You're takin' this …
Marybelle: Oh … now really, Sheriff. I know Bar … Mr. Maverick quite well. He's really a dear and very nice - just a schoolboy at heart.
Trevor: Yeah, reform school.
Trevor: Snake sometimes has a very fine appearance, but he's still a snake.
Bart: You dress very well, Sheriff.
Marybelle: He really has some fine qualities.
Bart: Yeah, everything from plain ornery to downright mean.
Marybelle: Oh, your wild ways have made you cynical, Bart, like I used to be. But the Deacon taught me to love my neighbor.
Bart: Then start with me because I'm the nearest. (tries to kiss Marybelle and is rebuffed) Do you know, that Sheriff of yours is a pretty fancy dresser. I wonder how he manages on a Sheriff's salary?
Marybelle: How he spends his money is no concern of ours.
Bart: Yeah, but how he gets it might be.
Bart: You know, sending that gold in a buckboard is a harebrained scheme - and Deacon Eaker doesn't even carry a gun.
Marybelle: Well, you do. Don't you know how to use it?
Bart: Well, yes, but generally, when I start shooting at something, it has a nasty habit of shooting back.
Bart: Marybelle, I don't want any part of it. All I want to do is get to Denver.
Marybelle: And in order to get to Denver you've got to go with us.
Bart (sighs): Do I sense a small threat?
Marybelle: You do. Either you help protect the gold - or no ride.
Bart: The gold means more to you than I do?
Marybelle: About $50,000 more.
Bart: The dog drinks?
Oscar: Why shouldn't he? He's old enough.
(outside the Sheriff's office)
Trevor: Did you do the job?
Snake: Boss, we turned this town upside down.
Bull: Nary a sign of Maverick.
Trevor: You two apes couldn't find a grizzly bear in a silo.
Snake: I swear, boss, Maverick ain't nowhere in town. Maybe he figured you was on to him and took off.
Bart (coming out of the Sheriff's office): Well, good morning, Sheriff. Well, I want to thank you for the use of your jail cell, but that, uh, that bed is a little hard.
Trevor: You spent the night in my jail? (throws cigar down in disgust)
Trevor: As for you, freeloader, I better not ever find you in this town again.
Bart: Sheriff, I've met men that I've respected and liked and men that I've liked but didn't respect - and men that I didn't like but had respect for. There's one other combination that just about sums up my feelings for you.
Trevor: I want some answers!
Bart: Coax me. (the "sheriff" pulls a gun on him) I'm coaxed.
Marybelle: What difference does it make whether they kill us tonight or tomorrow?
Bart: Now don't listen to her, Deacon. I happen to prefer tomorrow.
Bart: There's one thing all my poker playing's taught me, Marybelle.
Marybelle: What's that?
Bart (whispering): Strategy. (loudly) Look at those two, Marybelle … a more perfect example of a couple of fools you'll never see.
Bull: We're fools, huh? Who's got the guns on who?
Bart: Well, you boys have the guns, alright - but, you see, Corey has the gold. He's not going to come all the way back here just to split it with you two fellas.
Bull: Don't pull that stuff on me, dude. Clay Corey ain't that kinda guy.
Bart: Oh? What kinda guy is he?
Bull: Well, he's kinda like … well, I … You tell him, Snake.
Snake: Well, I reckon Corey's pretty much like us - smarter, maybe, but like us.
Bull: Us? Do you think!?
Snake: I think.
Bull: We better take out after Corey - so he don't hog all the loot for himself.
Bart (whispers to Marybelle): Strategy.
Snake: Let's take care of these two right now and get movin'.
Marybelle: You and your big mouth.
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