After being beaten, robbed, and shanghaied, Bart Maverick sets out to expose a respected member of San Francisco society, and the man responsible for his troubles, as a diamond swindler.
Van Buren Kingsley
James Garner is seen only at the beginning of this episode, performing a brief card trick and explaining that this week's story is factually based on "the great diamond swindle that shook the financial world of San Francisco in the 1870's." Apparently, the purpose of Garner's little introductions was to ease the public into accepting the idea that Jack Kelly would be appearing alone every other week as Bart Maverick.
Henriette: To the pleasure of seeing you again, General Beaujean … hanging from a lamp post.
Bart: Well, then who are you, honey?
Henriette: I'm Henriette De Colbert, Contesse De Vavasseur.
Bart: I'm sorry, Countess of what?
Henriette: Va-Vas-Seur. And who are you?
Bart: I'm the Count of Monte Cristo.
Bart: Oh, come on, Hank, don't be so greedy. I tell you what I will get for you, though. A husband. I guarantee you at least three proposals from bachelors, young, handsome, and a minimum of 33 million dollars apiece. All right?
Henriette: How dare you, monsieur. I am French, and the French do not think of money. They think only of love.
Madame: Henriette, do not talk nonsense. My boy, I assure you, the French are not like that at all. (laughing)
Madame: I ask myself, Maverick, are there any … old millionaire bachelors in San Francisco?
Man In Line: They couldn't have struck diamonds, could they?
Bart: Why not? They've struck everything else around here except water.
Roland: Can't I buy you a drink, Bart?
Roland: Shall we look in on the game upstairs?
Bart: Some other time.
Roland: I'm not keeping you from choir practice, am I?
Bart: Kingsley was sounding more and more like my old friend Dandy Jim Buckley selling a goldbrick.
Roland: Kingsley tried to pretend that the whole thing never happened.
Bart: Roland, that is the first rule. Whenever you try to sell a goldbrick, or an old Spanish treasure map, you never tell the sucker about it, you let 'em overhear you. Then look very distressed when he does.
Bart: Oh sure. When prospectors find something, they just can't wait to tell somebody else where it is.
Roland: Oh, there's a way of doing it. They could take Kingsley's man out to the edge of the desert and then lead him blindfolded the rest of the way.
Bart (laughing): Who will they show it to? You? Benson? P.T. Barnum.
Bart: Well, I'm a little nearsighted where Mr. Kingsley is concerned. I have trouble recognizing him with the … red costume and the eight tiny reindeer.
Kingsley: Ah, Mr. Maverick. Care to play? It still only takes $100,000.
Bart: Well, with you in the game, Mr. Kingsley, I think I'd need more than that.
Kingsley: Oh? What do you figure you'd need?
Bart: Oh, a strong stomach and a trusting heart.
Kingsley: Don't be subtle, Maverick, you're going right over my head.
Bart: Men who play for stakes like these don't buy people off, Mr. Scharff. They kill them off.
Bart: Madame, there isn't a grifter alive who puts real gold in his goldbrick.
Kingsley: You know, Maverick … it woulda been cheaper to let you stay in the game.
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