Season 5 Episode 8

Epitaph For A Gambler

Aired Sunday 6:30 PM Mar 04, 1962 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Pappyism: You can tell more about a town by looking at its gambling emporium than any other edifice.

    • Bart (inspecting the roulette wheel): No magnets, wires or other clever little devices to influence lady luck. On the surface at least everything seemed to pass inspection.

    • Bart: You make the arrangement sound positively attractive.
      Malone: You have any other ideas?
      Bart: No, I'm fresh out of ideas, but, uh, in as much as no one seems to know what tomorrow may bring, I'd appreciate an IOU for the rest of that money until it's paid up. (Malone writes and hands an IOU to Bart) I guess we'll be seeing quite a bit of each other.
      Malone: I'm afraid so.

    • Bart: Sheriff, I don't mind helping you clean this thing up, but you act as if I killed your Deputy.
      Sheriff: You didn't pull the trigger, but what'd you do to help him?
      Bart: I've already told you.
      Sheriff: Your kind never helps anyone - unless it involves a fast buck.

    • Bart: I don't want you shot down, at least not until you pay me what you owe me.
      Malone: I wasn't gonna get shot down, he woulda backed down.
      Bart: Maybe, but I don't like gambling with a loaded gun - especially when it's pointed at my money.

    • Sheriff: I've warned you about having gunmen like that in here.
      Malone: Well, they just stopped in for a drink.
      Bart: Mr. Mallone's being modest, Sheriff. He asked the gentlemen to leave in spite of the fact there was a pistol pointed dangerously close to his person.

    • Sheriff: I'm trying to run a decent town here, but it's not easy with a place like this in Sunrise.
      Bart: From what I've seen, Sheriff, Mr. Malone runs an honest establishment. I should think you'd consider yourself fortunate.
      Sheriff: Well, I don't recognize any difference between one gambling house and another - they're all the same! They all bring in undesirables! Some have guns … and some have cards, but it all adds up to one thing - trouble!
      Bart: Fortunately, trouble hasn't been classified as a crime - yet. Neither has gambling or you coulda closed this place up a long time ago.

    • Malone: Thanks for tryin' to help.
      Bart: Sheriff's gotta learn a lesson about people, especially ones he labels undesirable.
      Malone: He's still young.
      Bart: I don't think I'd give him that much understanding.

    • Linda: But I had something else in mind when I asked you that question. You see, I believe that someday a woman lawyer will be just as commonplace as a male lawyer.
      Bart: I certainly hope you're wrong.
      Linda: You have the typical male point of view, Mr. Maverick.
      Bart: No, I had something else in mind too, Miss Storey. To me a woman can never become commonplace, no matter what else she is.
      Linda: Very tactful. It's a pity you didn't take up law instead of gambling.

    • Bart: Well, thanks for the information. How much do I owe you?
      Storey: There's no charge for general information, only legal advice.
      Bart: If I don't pay you a fee, I'm not legally your client - and then you'll be free to divulge any information I might've given you.
      Storey: You would have made a good lawyer, Mr. Maverick.
      Bart: That's what your daughter said.

    • Malone: Because we're different, you and me and all the others like us. We put everything on a hand of poker, the turn of a wheel, and if we lose, well, there's always tomorrow. We've got no right to involve normal people in our lives.
      Bart: Now you speak for yourself. I live by the law of averages, take a chance now and then, but that doesn't classify me as some sort of freak.
      Malone: We both know there's a payoff to every bet. Well, there's also a payoff to every gambler's life, remember that.

    • Linda: I'm afraid you've fixed it so they'll be no living with father.
      Bart: Oh?
      Linda: Letting him beat a professional gambler at Whist.
      Bart: Linda, one thing is positive, if you were in the room when I was actually working, I'd turn into a rank amateur like that. (snaps fingers)
      Linda (giggles): I like that, Bart, even though I don't believe it.

    • Bart (voiceover): My pappy always said that someday a lady like Linda would make me forget all about Lady Luck, and as usual, Pappy was right. Ed Martin didn't make things any easier for us, but somehow we managed to learn a great deal about each other. The more I learned, the more convinced I was that Linda was the kind of a girl who could make a full house mean kids instead of cards - and that was fine with me.

    • Sheriff: I had a talk with Linda today - after you took her home. She seems to think you're serious about her.
      Bart: Well, I did my very best to give her that impression.
      Sheriff: You may fool her, but not me. Your kind can only play it one way.
      Bart: Can't you think of a man as a person, not a group?

    • Bart (voiceover): I've heard of honest games, but this is ridiculous. The house was paying off on number 16 - and 22 was the winner.

    • Malone: There's a payoff to every gambler's life, mine's on its way.
      Bart: I'm afraid it's already here.

    • Bart: What do you hope to accomplish besides getting killed?
      Malone: It's better than Ed getting killed trying to protect me.
      Bart: Dan, there are gonna be four men out there just waiting for you.
      Malone: Maverick, you're a gambler, you know that you can't pick your own odds.

    • Malone: Someone has to face Sam Elkins. I'm not gonna let Ed do it for me.
      Kit: Isn't there something you can do to stop him?
      Bart: Yeah, with a gun, but I'd have to shoot.

    • Bart: Ed means a great deal to you, doesn't he?
      Linda: I don't know. I walked out on him a little while ago … but now I'm not sure.
      Bart: I think I am. Incidentally, thank you for finally making that decision about us.
      Linda: But I haven't given it any serious thought.
      Bart: I know, that's how decisions are made.

    • Bart (voiceover): Normally, I'm not the sort of a fella who sticks his neck out for someone else, but in a way, I was responsible. And I couldn't see a lovely thing like Linda spend her days mourning for her intended … (scoffs) especially since I wouldn't be around to comfort her.

    • Sheriff: That was a foolish thing to do.
      Malone: I dealt the cards, son, I had to play the hand.
      Sheriff: This is one time you shoulda come to me first, pa.
      Malone (dying): Pa? Thanks.
      Bart: Just can't put people into groups, Ed. They're all individuals, they're all different.

    • Bart (voiceover): Dan was right, there's a payoff for every gambler. For him, it was his life. For me, well, I was minus a considerable sum of money - and Linda. But then, I still had my own skin, intact, and a slightly worn deck of cards. I wondered if any gambler had a right to expect more.

  • Notes

  • Allusions