When circumstances force Bart to kill the killer of Abilene's marshal, not only is he not thanked, but he's threatened with jail unless he becomes the town's new marshal, albeit, only temporarily, he's told, just until the famed Wyatt Earp can arrive to take over. But, of course, it doesn't turn out to be quite that cut and dried.moreless
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Theodora 'Theo' Rush
The character of Wyatt Earp is seen in this episode, the only time he's see in the entire series though he is referred to on occasion.
Pappyism: If you don't git while the gittin's good you're gonna git got.
Theo: What can I do for you, Mr. Mayor, honey?
Mayor (pointing to campaign poster): In deference to the elected candidate, namely me, it's only common courtesy to dispose of the campaign propaganda of the defeated candidate.
Theo: Well now, Billy only lost in the election.
Mayor: Everybody knows he's a common criminal.
Theo: Oh, not everyone. Well, I voted for him, and I'd vote for him again.
Theo: Well, honey, it's not political, it's only personal.
First Creditor: Hey! What about Maverick for Marshal? I mean, after all, gun handling like his certainly oughta give Billy Coe somethin' to think about.
Mayor: Mr. Maverick, we'd be honored.
Bart: Thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Mayor. I'm not too familiar with that side of the law.
(the Marshal is killed during a poker game)
Bart: My problem is right here on the poker table. Now, the Marshal raised me a hundred dollars and I called with my horse and saddle. Correct? And I have here, three pretty little two's. What does he have?
Mayor: Uh, just a minute! Heck claimed that pot and died untested. I must assume custody until rightful ownership is legally established.
Bart: We can establish that by merely looking at his cards.
Mayor: Impossible! And speaking of custody, your indebtedness and your lack of any visible means of support suggest vagrancy.
Bart: Mr. Mayor, are you threatening me?
Bart: You're prepared to take me into custody too, um?
Bart: Unless I take the job of Marshal, right?
Bart: And if I do accept the job, do I get to see the hand?
Mayor: Ah-hah. As Marshal, it'd be part of your, uh … legitimate investigation.
Coe: Oh, Marshal Maverick, I take it. Specialty's killing kids?
Bart: No, he was a man, Mr. Coe. He murdered Heck Thomas.
Coe: Kind of ungrateful of you, wasn't it? He got you the job.
Bart: I don't like the job. The present is nervous and the future's doubtful and the pay's atrocious. You do me a favor and I'll do one for you in return. You stay out of Abilene for the next six weeks.
Coe: Why six weeks?
Bart: Cause after six weeks, you'll be somebody else's problem. If you come in here again, I'm gonna try to take you and you'll probably try to stop me. One of us is liable to get dead - could be me and I think that's too big an investment to put into a six week job.
"Wyatt" Walker: Maverick, men like you are few and far between. I won't hear of you retiring. I here now appoint you as my Deputy.
Bart: Now, just a minute, Mr. Earp, you see, I …
"Wyatt" Walker: Don't thank me, you deserve the honor.
Bart: Well, supposing I refuse?
"Wyatt" Walker: Suppose you try, Mr. Maverick. (rests hand on gun)
Bart: All right, all right. Gimmie back the badge. Now, I know this is a hustle. If we don't protect the lambs, we'll never get a chance to fleece the sheep.
"Wyatt" Walker: Now, you're my kinda man, Maverick. I knew you'd look at it that way. I just knew it all … a, oh! … Well, well now, speakin' a sheep. Say, I wonder if you would give me a loan of a … little poker money. Mine hasn't caught up with me yet.
Bart: Uh, Mr. Earp, I … my money got away from me.
"Wyatt" Walker: Well, well. What-what-what do we have here?
Bart: Yeah, but you see, that's my $20 gold piece, that's a keepsake and it's last thing …
"Wyatt" Walker: $20 gold piece. Well, with my $20, I reckon that we're in business.
Bart: Well now, wait a minute, Mr. Earp, you see, that's my keep …
"Wyatt" Walker: We're full partners, my boy.
Bart: Yeah, but I don't wanna be …
"Wyatt" Walker: Half the winnings are yours.
Bart (whistles): Fast man.
Bart (disbelieving Walker's luck): He draws to inside straights and makes 'em!
Mayor Oliver: Oh, Wyatt! Oh, Mr. Earp. I never saw such a whirlwind, such a man for ducking the sickle of death.
"Wyatt" Walker: Well, folks, the real hero of this battle wasn't Wyatt Earp, no sir, it was Bart Maverick here.
Mayor: 'Pears we owe him another new hat.
Bart: You keep this up, Wyatt, and it'll be a new head.
Bart: Wyatt, I, uh, I know you've faced dozens of men in shoot-outs, and I know you cleaned up Dodge City, but, uh, how?
"Wyatt" Walker: How do ya think - with a broom?
Bart: Yeah, well I think you'd do a little better with a broom than you will with that gun.
Walker: In case you're wondering what happened to your Buntline Special, one I borrowed from you, Mr. Earp.
Wyatt Earp: Well, where is it?
Walker: Billy Coe. He ran away with it, sorta. (Bart chuckles)
Wyatt Earp: Somethin' funny about that, Maverick?
Bart: Yea … Well, in a way, Mr. Earp, you see, uh, Billy Coe did steal the gun but he promised to return it. Matter a fact, he's coming back to town at exactly 3 o'clock this afternoon for a stand up shoot-out with, eh … (points to Walker and then the real Earp) … uh, with Wyatt Earp.
Wyatt Earp: Oh. I oughta let him kill you, and then arrest him for your murder.
Bart: You almost got me twice, I don't even know why I'm feelin' sorry for you.
Walker: Ya see, as myself, I'm nothing. I'm the epitome of a cipher, the hole in the doughnut.
Theo: Oh no, Wyatt, you're the most …
Walker: Wyatt. There, ya see, ya forgotten my name already. Right back where I started from - a drop in the bucket, bristle in a shaving brush. I'm leaving town, Miss Theodora.
Theo: Are you gonna leave me here for Billy Coe?
Holliday: Ah, Bart! Bart! You've always been a friend to me, correct?
Holliday: Well now, there's a young lady, uh, following me on the next stage, name of Cassie Jones …
Bart: Pretty young thing, I'll wager.
Holliday: Oh … yes.
Holliday: A few. You see, I feel at this point I'm just a little bit too young to get married. So, I wonder if you'd indicate to her that I've exited the other side of town.
Bart: I see. Well, anything for a friend.
Holliday: If I ever hear of you going about the country impersonating me again, I shall …
Cassie Jones: Doctor, if he hadn't, you'd have never missed the stage. He brought us together again.
Holliday: That's exactly what I mean …
Stage Passenger: What do we call you, sir?
Walker: Maverick, sir. Bart Maverick. And, uh, how would you gentlemen feel about a little game of poker?
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