Pappyism: Stay clear of weddings, 'cause one of 'em's liable to be your own.
Bart: A big, noisy boomtown is no place for a man who, like myself, enjoys a more peaceful and less complicated surrounding. But, when a man suddenly finds himself in alarming need of immediate opportunity, then the bigger the boomtown, the better.
Fitzgerald: Uh, but it's only a matter of time and I'll have your money for ya. (Bart smiles) Don't ya trust me?
Bart: With all my heart, Captain, just so long as I'm close enough to reach out and grab you … Hey, Fitz, uh, this countess of yours, is she, uh …
Fitzgerald: Now, see here, Bart …
Bart: No, no, no, I mean attractive. Uh, or suitable subject for your, uh, celebrated Iris charm.
Fitzgerald: My dear Bart, the Countess de la Fontaine happens to be dull, fat and fifty - a bit of an old baggage, you might say.
Placer Jack: Well, there's no accountin' for female taste. I knew a woman once in the mother lode country kept a rattlesnake for a pet.
Bart: Well, I've met a couple of snakes in my time that, uh, kept a woman for a pet.
Placer Jack: You must be new to Virginia City, Maverick, don't recall seein' you around.
Bart: Well, I manage to pass through every now and then.
Placer Jack: On business or, uh, pleasure?
Bart: Well, business in Virginia City has a strange way of turnin' into pleasure.
Placer Jack: Maverick, you ain't just a card, you're the whole deck.
Placer Jack: You are tryin' to blackmail me!
Bart: Blackmail? After you skipped out owing me money? Now look, Fitz, you pay me and I'll disappear just as fast as a white chip in a losing streak. But until then, (Bart laughs and puts on a "country" accent) well, old Placer Jack and me, we'll get along just fine, like a coupla hogs in a waller.
Placer Jack: Hey, how are you at sawin'?
Bart: Well, I don't mind if I don't.
Placer Jack: Man likes to use his hand once in a while.
Bart: Well, I use mine, but, uh, usually on something a little slicker.
Placer Jack: Yeah, like cards?
Bart: Yes, I've wiled away an hour playing poker now and then.
Bart: (thinking) I had two aces and two threes, this game was too rich for anybody's blood. Five aces all totaled? In one game?
Fitzgerald: You got your money. Go ahead and vanish, will you?
Bart: Uh-uh, I still have your I.O.U. and, uh, you still owe me four thousand.
Fitzgerald: You have the nature of a dishonest tax collector. You got your money last night.
Bart: No, last night was one game. Your I.O.U. represents another game.
Fitzgerald: T'would be simpler if friend Maverick were out of the way completely.
Liz: Don't get out of character, Fitz. Violence isn't exactly your specialty.
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