Dandy Jim Buckley
Unlike many western stars of the day, such as, Clint Walker in Cheyenne and Robert Conrad in The Wild, Wild West, James Garner tended to keep his shirt on in Maverick. But here, he's put on rare "bare" display as, stripped to the waist, he enters the squared circle against the mighty "Battling Krueger".
Pompey: When'd he crawl on board?
Cadiz: I see you have a new stable of harpies, Madame Pompey, it was about time.
Pompey: Harpies, my bustle! Why these are sweet and genteel girls, straight out of finishing school in St. Louie - and each one a gifted entertainer.
Cadiz: So gifted, you had to drag them to Deadwood to make a living?
Pompey: Girls, hey girls! Girls, I've got somebody I want you to meet … Girls, you can look east, you can look west, you can look north or you can look south - but you're never gonna find a dirtier louse than Tony Cadiz … If he comes near ya, just spit in his eye.
Bret: Pompey, set 'em up for the girls.
Pompey: Hey! I didn't know you were a drinker.
Bret: Well, I'm not, doesn't keep me from buyin' for my friends.
(Bret and Dandy Jim are stranded on a small island)
Bret: What're you doin' here? Eh, no, don't tell me, I know.
Buckley: Well … I bought a new hold out clamp device, worked on springs. It could drop an ace into your palm with a flick of the wrist. (chuckling) It was amazing … Then the blasted contraption developed a squeak.
Bret (laughing): Must have been embarrassing.
Buckley: Oh, the skipper of The Far West was … not a reasonable man. He stripped me of every dollar, then marooned me on this disgusting mud bank.
Bret (voiceover): By nightfall, we'd crossed the ridge and come down into the mountain meadow. There was only one thing wrong. The meadow had sprouted a full-size town.
Buckley: Well, don't look at me like that, how was I to know?
Bret: That's what I'm wondering.
(Bret punches Buckley, knocking him to the ground)
Buckley: Now what the devil was that for?
Bret: You knew they built the jail over there. You've been here before.
Buckley: Here!? (Bret glares at him) Well, uh, as a matter of fact, yes, I have been. That was another reason for the 50%, I needed help.
Bret: Why pick on me?
Buckley: Well, there was no-one else here I could trust. So, I was on my way to St. Louis to get my - my cousin, whom I don't trust very much either, when I ran into you. And your greatest weakness, my friend, is that you're completely trustworthy. (Bret scoffs) Also, I needed someone with special qualities - a strong man for the digging and a man who won't mind being tossed into jail (Bret appears startled) … for $20,000.
Bret: And that's when you hand me the tools thru the window?
Buckley: Yes, of course.
Bret: And then I hand you the … gold back thru the window?
Bret: And I'm left there all alone, locked up tight.
Buckley: Maverick, my friend, have I ever given you cause to think … (Bret just stares at him) Oh, I have, eh? All right, then suppose you come up with a better plan.
Bret (pulling out a deck of cards): Low man goes to jail.
Buckley: Oh, no, no. I'm supplying the brains in this deal. You, my friend, the brawn.
Bret: Cut or get yourself another jailbird.
Buckley: I'll take that gold, friend Maverick. Try anything and you'll stop a bullet.
Bret: Buckley, you're a crook and a cheat and a double-crosser. But you're not a killer. You could no more squeeze that trigger than quit markin' decks.
Buckley: Lash those sacks onto my spare horse, friend.
Bret: The only way you'll get 'em is with a bullet.
(Buckley shrugs and points the gun at Maverick, but he can't pull the trigger)
Buckley: You know … I could learn to dislike you intensely.
(Bret's tricked Buckley by turning in the gold for a 10% reward)
Bret : Aw, cheer up, friend Buckley. We still have $2,000 apiece and a clear conscience.
Buckley: A clear conscience? We just lost $36,000! I've pulled some pretty mean tricks in my day, but I've never stooped to such foul, nauseating …
Bret: Mighty pretty country ya got here. Little lonely, though, isn't it, Noah?
Noah: Oh, shucks, it ain't lonely, Mr. Maverick. Why I got lotsa friends here. There's bear, coon, birds, elk - why the whole valley's full of friends. Long about dark, why, they all come up to my house and we sit around and … watch the stars and … it's quiet and peaceful, but it ain't lonely.
Cadiz: Like I said, I've been cleaning up big, but I've been smart with it. I gave some away - a little here, a little there - so that now I've got a lot of friends. They'd back any play I'd make.
Bret: Big gun, huh?
Cadiz: The biggest. Now, you boys had a little tough luck in the past, you might even consider it a raw deal.
Bret: You've got another name for it?
Cadiz: No, but I'll give you a friendly tip : just forget about it and charge it up to experience, cause if you don't, you might run into trouble. I wouldn't want that to happen, especially to a couple of old friends.
Cadiz: Who is this fella?
Pompey: Just call him Pompey's mystery man.
Cadiz: Is this some pug you imported from back East?
Pompey: Doesn't matter who it is, the posters challenge all comers - 2 to 1 odds.
Cadiz: I know what the posters say, but I wanna look at anybody the battler fights before I place any bets.
Pompey: Tryin' to crawfish out, huh?
Cadiz: No, but I run my business according to Hoyle - and I'd like a look at the outside of your mystery man ahead of time. Not his wears! For all I know you may be draggin' in a grizzly bear.
Pompey: Hah! He's hairy, but he's no grizzly bear, although the Battler might think he was afterwards.
Bret: Well, I'm sorry about this, Noah, but … Cadiz, who owns the Battler, is worse than a dear killer, he's a thief!
Buckley: He stole $7,000 from me an-and over four thousand from Mr. Maverick.
Bret: You wanna buy that valley, doncha?
Noah: I got no call to fight the Battler now.
Buckley: Look, Noah, your friends have got $10,000 bet on you. You don't want us to lose everything we got?
Noah: I'm mighty sorry, Mr. Buckley, but fightin' without just cause is plumb agin my principles.
Buckley: Principles be hanged! I've got $2,000 riding on you!
Buckley (between rounds): His belly, Maverick, his belly! You haven't been working on it … Uh, but you're going great!
Bret (almost knocked out): Aw, shut up.
Bret: Well, Marshal, you heard the gentleman's evil intent. What he had in mind oughta rate about thirty days?
Marshal: No, with blastin' powder, it's, uh, sixty days.
Bret: Well, let's go over to your office and divide up the money. (to Buckley in his jail cell) We'll leave your share with the Marshal.
Buckley: No, no. You can't do this to me. I was only trying to help.
Bret: Your share - minus a thousand for Noah.
Buckley: Maverick. I'm your friend. Didn't I pull you from the river? Didn't I let you in on the gold? Didn't I get you tossed into jail so you could … Good heavens, what am I saying?
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