Season 4 Episode 29

Substitute Gun

Aired Sunday 6:30 PM Apr 02, 1961 on ABC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Pappyism: Never make friends with a man who has no enemies.

    • Smiley: Well, I'll be fried for bacon - Mr. Maverick. Small world, hey?
      Bart: That's my complaint exactly, Smiley. How are things in St. Louis?
      Smiley: Warm. Very warm.
      Bart: You talkin' about the weather? (Smiley laughs)

    • Stableman: (to Bart) You just talkin' - or want somethin'?
      Smiley: Oats and a rubdown - and go easy on the water, we don't want foundered horses.
      Stableman: Mister, I was takin' care of horses when you was still wearin' diddies. (Smiley laughs)
      Smiley: Let's you n' me head up the town café - low card foots the bill.

    • Sheriff: Who hired ya? Come on, who hired ya?
      Smiley: (dying) Got a rule, Sheriff. Never talk to Sheriffs.

    • Sheriff: The one time I didn't want you liquored up.
      Gouch: I resent that. I'm reasonably sober.

    • Blauvelt: (about Spain) He's a tall, dark slender fella - slick as a greased pig on ice. Fancies himself as a ladies' man - and I guess he's right. Half the women in town pant after him - not just the single ones, either.

    • Sheriff: You owe me somethin', Maverick - your life.
      Bart: You were just doing exactly what your job calls for, Sheriff. I don't owe you a thing.
      Sheriff: Maybe I'm wrong … 'bout the whole thing. Maybe you and Smiley came to town to rob the bank, only you got cold feet, tried to leave and Smiley went out after you.
      Bart: Oh well, Sheriff, that's nonsense …
      Sheriff: 'Course I can't be positive. I would have to lock you up, make sure you weren't wanted somewhere else - hadn't take more than a month or two to find that out.
      Bart: Oh! Well, my apologies, sheriff, I can see that you're the kind of a man who upholds the law, even if he has to … bend it a little.
      Sheriff: Kind of a funny way to put it, Maverick, but you got the idea.

    • (Bart holds Connie after the two bump into each other)
      Connie: Do I know you?
      Bart: You do now.

    • (after a barroom brawl)
      Bart: What this town needs is a sheriff who works nights.
      Piano Player: Sheriff Coleman's ridin' shotgun on a gold shipment, won't be back till mornin'.
      Bart: Well, that sounds like a real coincidence.

    • Sheriff: All I know is that somethin's gonna happen. I can feel it in my bones. Well, we'll give it two, maybe three more days. I got real confidence in you, Maverick.
      Bart: Don't let anyone ever tell you you're a good judge of character. If you're not too busy, Sheriff, why don't you drop by the Golden Eagle tonight.
      Sheriff: Why?
      Bart: You're not the only one with sensitive bones.

    • Greta: But they know, Clete. They've known all along I sent for that killer.
      Spain: That's where you're wrong. If they knew that they would've sprung the trap before this, and even if they do know, it's still alright. With your husband and Maverick both dead, Coleman won't be able to prove a thing. I tell you it's tight, Greta, tight as a drum.
      Greta: I don't know, I don't know, Clete. If anything goes wrong …
      Spain: Then forget it! Let your sister take him, so they'll laugh at you. It's happened before.

    • (Spain holds Bart and Blauvelt at gunpoint)
      Spain: Here's how it's going to look, gentlemen. You got into an argument, drew your guns - and it was a tie. You both lost.

  • Notes

  • Allusions